Reconciliation
by sosmitten
Summary: A month after their breakup, Luke bids on Lorelai's basket. Spoilers through 5.14, Say Something. COMPLETE STORY.
1. Going Once, Going Twice

**Disclaimer:** These characters are owned by the WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and Amy Sherman-Palladino.

**Author's Note:** This follows my previous story, The Luke Box, but begins about a month later and continues through to how I hope the season will end. You don't have to have read The Luke Box in order to understand this story. Spoilers through episode 5.14, Say Something.

* * *

Rory was on her way home from a Doose's run. It wasn't that Lorelai was avoiding Doose's completely, but if Rory was around she always offered to go for her. As she passed Luke's, she glanced inside. She hadn't been to Luke's since the breakup and she knew without asking that Lorelai hadn't either. Looking at Luke's defeated expression and sad eyes, she couldn't help thinking that they could work this out if they would sit down and talk about it. She suddenly had an urge to go in and say hello. And hell, some coffee would be nice.

He looked up when the bell rang and his face registered surprise. He started to look behind her, his eyes questioning, until he realized she was alone and looked down.

"Hi Luke."

"Hi Rory. It's good to see you. Can I get you something?"

"Some coffee, please."

"For here, or in a to go cup?"

She started to say 'to go', but something in his eyes asked her to stay. "Here. I have a few minutes."

He smiled then, a very small smile, but it was a start. "How are you?" he asked as he turned to get her coffee.

"Okay, I guess. School is going well."

"You've been around a lot," he glanced at her as he continued, "I've seen you around town more than usual."

"I'm just keeping in touch with Mom, making sure she's eating enough." Her mom would be upset if she knew she had said that to Luke, had let him know she was hurting.

At the mention of her, he looked up and the sadness returned to his eyes. "How is she?" he asked quietly.

"She's okay, keeping busy at the inn." He nodded and Rory knew he must have buried himself in his work as well.

He started wiping the counters, and then stopped, like he wanted to say something, "Hey."

"Yeah?"

He hesitated and then, "Are you guys going to that stupid basket thing this Saturday?"

Rory wasn't expecting that, "I don't think so. I mean, I don't think my Mom would want to. Why? You don't usually pay any attention to town events."

"Well, you two have been doing it every year since I can remember."

"Probably not this year." Rory was surprised to see a disappointed look on his face, and asked, "You weren't going to go, were you?"

"No, probably not . . . unless," he looked up at this, "there was something worth bidding on."

Rory held his gaze, trying to figure out if he was saying what she thought he might be saying. "So, if there _was_ something worth bidding on, you would be there?"

"Yes." He was still looking straight at her, willing her to understand the implication. She did.

"Well, if I can convince her, maybe we'll see you there," Rory said as she got up to leave.

"Maybe you will," he said, allowing a small smile to escape his lips, as he handed her a cup. Rory looked at him questioningly. "It's uh…for your Mom."

"She doesn't drink coffee anymore," Rory said gently, catching a glimpse of the shock and pain on his face, before turning and walking out the door.

* * *

"Lor, it's me again. Please, please, please call me back. I'm going to be in the area this weekend. I really want to talk. I'm so sorry about everything, but I can't just leave it like this between us. I know this hasn't worked the other 37 times that I have called you, but I need to see you and make things right."

"It's a little late for that," Lorelai said bitterly as she hit the delete button. Walking over to the sofa, she collapsed with exhaustion. It had been just over four weeks since the vow renewal and she and Luke's breakup. Avoiding Christopher was easy. It was much harder to avoid Luke, but she had successfully managed it by spending all of her waking hours at the inn or with Rory.

Lorelai wasn't sure how long she stayed on the couch, lost in her thoughts, but she was brought back to reality by the sound of the front door opening and Rory calling, "Hey Mom, I'm home."

"In here."

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, just tired. You went to Doose's?"

"Yeah, I got some staples for you: Pop-Tarts, frozen pizzas, etc."

"Thanks, babe. You're wonderful."

"Anytime. Hey Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"I saw Luke tonight."

"Well, you do have to walk by the diner to go to Doose's."

"I went in to talk to him."

Lorelai flinched slightly, "Why?"

"He looked sad." Lorelai didn't know how to respond to that, so she stayed quiet. "He tried to give me some coffee for you."

"What did you tell him?"

"That you weren't drinking it anymore."

"Why did you tell him that?"

"Because it's true," she said matter-of-factly. Her voice became softer then, "He asked me something too."

"What?"

"He wanted to know if we were going to the basket auction."

"He what?" Lorelai turned and looked at Rory with surprise.

"That was pretty much my reaction. I told him that we probably weren't. Then I asked him if he was going and he said not unless there was something worth bidding on."

"What does that mean?"

"He wants to bid on your basket."

"No, he hates stuff like that. And remember _he_ broke up with _me_."

"Well that may be, but he brought it up and he looked like he wanted a chance to see you, to talk to you."

"He knows where to find me, if he wanted to talk."

"Do you want to talk to him?"

How to answer that? Of course she did, but what was there to say? He said he couldn't be in the relationship anymore and she was trying to respect that. What else was there to talk about? Unless… he had brought it up after all, right? She was nodding then, "Yeah I want to talk to him," she admitted.

"Alright then, let's do it."

"I can't. What if he doesn't come? Kirk might buy my basket."

"He'll come."

"How do you know?"

"I know, okay. Besides, if he doesn't, I'll kill him."

* * *

"Sookie, will you help me with my basket?"

"Don't you usually just throw junk food in there?"

"Yeah, but I want it to be better this year."

"I'm surprised you're doing it at all. What's going on? You can't possible have gotten over Luke already. So what's up? Is this your plan to make him jealous?"

"No!"

"Then what?"

"Rory saw him the other night and he asked if we were making baskets. He said he might come if there were something worth bidding on. It's probably nothing, but…"

"Oh my god, we have work to do! Let's see, I could make grilled chicken sandwiches with watercress and tarragon mayonaisse, pasta salad with roasted vegetables, and …"

"Hey chef-girl, come back to reality, please. I don't want you to make it for me. Can you help me make something myself? Something simple? Sandwiches and salad, maybe some brownies or cookies for dessert?"

"I guess so, but you don't cook."

"That's why it needs to be simple, but I want to make it."

"Okay, I'm sure I can help you with something like that. So tell me, what's going on?"

"If only I knew."

* * *

"Hey Lor, it's me again. It's Saturday. I'm just outside of Stars Hollow and I am going to stop by to see you. You can throw me out if you want, but I need to see you. I just want to talk. Well, I'll see you soon."

* * *

Lorelai was beginning to regret this. Besides the fact that she had endured several questions and pointed comments from Patty about entering a basket, she had yet to see Luke. Being around so many people at once reminded her of why she had been working such long hours at the inn. She was ready to go curl up on her couch when she heard Taylor.

"Well, well, well. Here is Lorelai Gilmore's basket, likely to contain Pop Tarts and maybe a Slim Jim if you're lucky."

"Hey, don't say that. I made a lunch."

"Well, that sounds even more frightening." Lorelai glared at him, but he went on, "Can I have 20 dollars?"

There was a slight pause, during which she scanned the crowd, wishing she had thought better of this and stayed home. She heard the familiar voice before she saw him.

"Fifty dollars." Following his voice, she saw him as a few people stepped aside to let him move forward. He stopped about twenty feet from her and their eyes locked, both a bit surprised to actually be here. The crowd was silent, wondering what this meant. Even Taylor seemed flustered.

"Going once-"

"Sixty dollars." Both Luke and Lorelai look toward the voice at the same time. Lorelai paled when she saw Christopher. She looked back to see the dismay on Luke's face before he turned and started to walk away.

This can't happen again. "Christopher, get out of my life. I don't want you here."

"Dad, go away. It's not for you. She made it for someone else." Lorelai was surprised to hear the vehemence in Rory's voice.

"Luke, don't go," her voice was so quiet he couldn't possibly have heard her, but he stopped.

"Seventy dollars," he said, without turning around.

Lorelai's heart leapt at the words, but only for a moment.

"Eighty dollars." Her face crumpled in defeat.

"Chris, leave me alone. I don't want you here . . at all."

Rory started walking toward him, "Dad, get the hell out of here, before you screw it up again."

"Give me a chance. I can outbid this guy," he says pointing at Luke.

"No you can't, Christopher. Just go." Lorelai said bitterly as Taylor's voice continued the auction.

"Going once. . . "

Luke turned around then to say, "One hundred dollars." He glared at Chris, who glanced at Lorelai and Rory's angry faces before walking away.

"Going once, going twice, sold for 100 dollars to Luke Danes," Taylor boomed.

Lorelai tried to catch her breath while Luke paid Taylor for the basket and walked toward her. She could feel the eyes of the town on her and she smiled nervously at Luke.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Hey."

"Will you eat with me?" He held up the basket and gave her a hopeful look.

"Well, that _is_ the way it's supposed to work. Can we just go someplace where the whole town isn't watching us?"

"Gladly."


	2. Picnic

**Disclaimer:** These characters are owned by the WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and Amy Sherman-Palladino.

**Author's Note:** Thanks to everyone who has read this and reviewed. It's overwhelming to get such great feedback and I hope that the rest of the story doesn't disappoint. Thanks to jesouhaite for beta-reading this chapter and giving me such great feedback. Spoilers through episode 5.14, Say Something.

* * *

They stood there for a few seconds, neither knowing how to be with the other right then.

"Uh… We could go to the inn. It would be away from here, and there are some nice picnic spots," Lorelai offered nervously. "I mean we could also go to my backyard, but then there is Babette, and …"

"The inn sounds great. Should I grab a blanket before we go?"

"We have some there for the guests to use, so it should be okay."

They turned to walk toward the inn, surrounded by awkward tension. Luke desperately wanted to grab her hand or put his arm around her, but knew he couldn't bear physical contact until they knew what they were to each other, until they had talked.

They walked quietly for a few more moments, but Luke was not surprised when Lorelai interrupted the silence. She could never stand silence. "Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about Chris being there. I didn't know- I haven't seen him since- I don't know why-"

"I kind of got that impression," he said stiffly.

"Luke, what he said that night-"

"Lorelai," her breath caught and he realized it was the first time he had called her by name in over a month, "I want, well, we need to talk about that, about . . . him, but not right now, not first."

She nodded, but then was quiet, as if she didn't know what to say. The silence continued, somewhat more uncomfortable now for his having stopped her. They didn't know how to be casual with each other anymore. When they got to the inn, he waited outside while she went to get a blanket. He wondered if this had been a mistake. The awkwardness was unbearable.

She returned and they walked to the garden to spread out the blanket. They both sat down and Luke opened the basket, surprised to see it full of food.

"Did you say you made this?"

"Sookie helped me. I mean, I made it, but Sookie helped me figure out what I should make and walked me through the actual making. It might be horrible. It's okay if you don't want to eat it." The babbling was back. At least it was better than the silence.

"I want to eat it. I can't believe you cooked."

"Sandwiches aren't really cooking," she said.

"You made brownies."

"From a mix."

"You did this for me?" He still needed confirmation.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Rory told me you wanted me to."

"So, because Rory said?" he asked, frustrated.

"No . . . I don't know. Did you?"

"What?" He was confused by the question.

"Want me to make it?"

"I bid on it, didn't I?"

"Yes, but why did you?" she asked, pushing him for an answer.

"I missed you and I wanted to talk."

"We could have done that without the auction thing. I could have lived without the Taylor mocking."

"I wasn't sure you would want to. You seemed pretty definite the last time I talked to you." He remembered with pain the night she called him her 'ex-boyfriend.'

"I thought that was what you wanted. You did break up with me, you know."

He winced, "I didn't mean I wanted us to be done permanently. I just needed some time."

"That's not what it seemed like."

"I'm sorry that I hurt you."

"I hurt you first."

Neither one knew what to do with those words. He wanted to deny it, but it was out there and mostly true, so he left it. The tension in the air was thick. They sat eating their sandwiches, careful to avoid any physical contact. They seemed to be in agreement on that point.

After a few minutes, she offered him some salad. "Now I have to be honest here. I did not make the salad dressing, because as far as I'm concerned, it comes from a bottle, but Sookie insisted, so she gave us several homemade choices. There's some sort of vinaigrette, raspberry I think, blue cheese, honey mustard, Parmesan peppercorn and Caesar."

"I'll take the vinaigrette."

"I guess I'll have that too," she said with a thoughtful look on her face.

"You're going to eat salad?"

"Sure, how often do I get to eat my own cooking? Though, I've never really understood the appeal of salad," she said this brightly and he looked at her with a small smile.

The brief moment of lightness grew serious again as they continued eating in silence. Luke broke it by saying, "I've been worried about you."

"Why? I'm fine. I'm dealing."

"Rory told me you stopped drinking coffee."

She hesitated before admitting, "Yeah."

"Why?"

"It reminded me of you."

"And that was bad?"

"It hurt to think about you, to think about what we could have had if I hadn't screwed it up." The pain in her voice pierced him.

"I think we can spread the responsibility for that around a bit."

She looked at him then, a curious look in her eyes. "Well anyway, I just can't drink coffee knowing I can't have yours." She was back to the coffee again, a safer topic.

"You can have my coffee anytime you want."

"Not really. Not yet. Maybe someday." She was still talking as if their breakup was permanent. It unnerved him.

"You know…" he hesitated, not sure he should admit this.

"What?"

"I started drinking coffee."

"What? You? Why?" The look on her face was priceless and if it hadn't been the moment that it was he would have laughed out loud.

"It reminded me of you."

"And that was good?" she asked.

"Uh…yeah."

"Wow, I'm having trouble picturing you drinking coffee. You? Really?"

"I was putting some of your things into boxes, trying to put away anything that would remind me of you. There was this cup of coffee sitting there that I had brought up that morning before I remembered you wouldn't be there. When I dumped it out, it smelled like you and I missed you. So, I made a cup and for a while I just held it, and then I drank some, and well, that's how it started."

"And now you drink coffee?"

"Sometimes." When I miss you.

"So, you were packing stuff away." She hesitated before asking, "Does that mean you have a Lorelai box?"

"I have six Lorelai boxes."

He heard an intake of breath and watched her swallow. Then he asked, because he had to, "Do you have a Luke box?"

She looked down before answering, not meeting his eyes, "I have 23 Luke boxes." Her voice was soft and vulnerable. She didn't like to admit weakness, but between the coffee admission and the boxes, she had been totally exposed. He knew it was not a comfortable place for her to be.

He could sense her uneasiness, so instead of dwelling on the meaning of her confession, he commented, "Well, just goes to show how much more stuff you have than me."

It worked. She giggled softly and said, "Yeah, you're probably right. Was there anything left after you filled your boxes?"

"Not much."

She gave him an unreadable look, then changed the subject. "Well, I ate salad. Will you have a brownie? There is probably something desperately wrong with them, but-"

"They look fine. I'd love one."

He was a good sport and ate the entire brownie, even though he never ate sugar, and he had to admit that they weren't as bad as he expected.

"Thanks for lunch. It was surprisingly good," he teased, trying to lighten the moment.

"Hey!" she said, feigning a pout. He loved seeing that side of her again, however briefly.

"It was good to see you."

"Yeah. I'm glad you bought the basket," she said, smiling shyly.

"Well, I've got to get back to the diner."

"Oh . . . of course. I don't want to keep you."

"You're not. I just. . . I'd like to talk more." She was looking at him apprehensively, and he couldn't tell if she wanted him to continue. But honestly, what the hell was there to lose? "Can I make you dinner sometime? I could bring over a lasagna or something. Maybe tomorrow?"

He looked up to see an almost imperceptible nod. "That would be nice, but Luke…?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you just bring hamburgers? I. . . well, Sookie doesn't make hamburgers."

* * *

**Author's Note:** If it felt like this moved slowly, it's because I can't imagine that Luke and Lorelai getting back together will be easy or quick and I think that there will be a whole lot of awkward. Now, Amy may prove me wrong in future eps, but that's just my take on things. 


	3. Dinner

**Disclaimer:** These characters are owned by the WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and Amy Sherman-Palladino.

**Author's Note:** Thanks again to jesouhaite for beta-reading this chapter and giving me such great feedback. I really appreciate everyone's reviews and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

* * *

Lorelai couldn't remember if they had set a particular time for their date. _No, not date, definitely not a date_. It was a talk, and it scared the hell out of her. She wasn't great with words. She said too many of them and said too little with them. She also knew, however, that they needed words if they were ever going to be able to be together again. Thinking about getting back together made her nervous. She hadn't let herself go down that road, for fear of being disappointed. But the auction, the lunch – surely Luke wouldn't have gone through with that if he wasn't at least thinking about being with her again. 

Getting dressed was difficult. What did you wear for a "talk date" with your ex-boyfriend who you really wanted back in your life? Comfortable, but not too casual or he wouldn't think she had made any effort. Not too sexy, because as much as she might want to drag him up to her bedroom, that was definitely not what they needed right now. Add to that the fact that most of her favorite clothes were spread among the Luke boxes that were piled the corner of her room, and the job was even more difficult. She finally settled on a pair of jeans, but not his favorite pair, and a comfortable, but not too tight, blue sweater that just happened to set off her eyes.

He showed up around 7:00, and knocked tentatively at the door. When she answered, he said, "I realized that we never said a specific time, so I hope this is okay."

"It's perfect. I'm starving."

"Well, I have food," he said, holding up the take-out bags.

"I'll get plates and drinks. Do you want a beer?" _I_ certainly do, she thought, so nervous now that he was actually in the house.

"Yeah, that sounds good."

She returned to find him still standing just inside the living room, looking around with an odd expression on his face.

"Luke? Are you okay?"

"Where's all your stuff? Movies, books, knick-knacks . . . everything. Where is it?" Lorelai just pointed at the stack of boxes in the corner of the room. "You packed it all away? Why?"

"It reminded me of you."

"Every single movie you own reminded you of me?"

"Well, first I put away just the ones that we had watched together, but then I put away all the ones I could picture you mocking, and then anything with a 'they live happily ever after ending,' and well, you see the problem."

He stared at her with an amazed look on his face. Looking around the room, his eyes settled on a stack of board games on a shelf. "I haven't seen those before."

"Oh, Rory and I have had those for a while. We just haven't played them since she was a kid. We pulled them out recently, since the movies are all packed up. She can still kick my butt at Scrabble, but I get her back with Parcheesi."

"I'm glad she's been around."

"Yeah, me too."

She realized that he was still holding the food. "Here," she said, putting down the plates and beers and taking the food from him, "let's sit down. She gestured to the couch and he sat down at the far end. She debated briefly where to sit and chose the other end of the couch, far enough away to avoid touching him, but turned so that she could face him.

She was relieved to be able to start eating and put off the conversation a bit longer. They ate quietly for a few minutes, Lorelai trying to steal glances at him. The familiar flannel and baseball cap were comforting, though his eyes were tired and sad and his shoulders slumped a bit. She interrupted the silence to say, "Thanks for the burger. I've missed them."

"I'm glad you're enjoying it."

"Oh, I definitely am," she smiled, thinking that it almost felt comfortable, eating with him in her house. Then she remembered the purpose of this dinner. "So, you wanted to talk," she blurted, trying to sound more confident than she felt.

"Why did you lie to me about Christopher?"

"Starting off easy, huh?" she said as she looked up at his expressionless face. He didn't answer, so she thought for a moment and said, "I don't know."

"That's not good enough," he said icily.

"I know it's not enough, but I have thought a lot about it and I don't know if I have a better answer than that."

"How many times did you see him?

"Three. Once when he called after Sherri left because he needed help with GiGi. I went because he was a friend and fellow parent who needed help. About a month later Sookie asked how he was doing and I realized that I hadn't heard from him." Luke almost smiled at that. "I called to see how he was doing."

"You called him?"

"I was worried about a friend."

"Friend? Try ex-boyfriend, father of your only child." His voice was tight.

"Luke, please, let me do this."

"Okay, go ahead," he relented.

"He was going to be visiting his parents, so I invited him to the inn to have lunch, and I invited Rory too, as a surprise."

"You invited him?"

"Yes, I did," she said openly.

"And you didn't tell me because . . ."

"Honestly, in my mind it was nothing but two old friends catching up. He hadn't seen the inn, or seen Rory in a while." She looked up and saw a frustrated look on his face, and sighed. "Then he and Rory got into a fight because apparently Rory had told him to stay away from me so that he wouldn't screw things up with us."

"She did that?" He looked slightly impressed.

"Yeah, and that was when it hit me that I should have told you, because even though I knew that it meant nothing to me, if it had been the other way around and you saw Rachel or Nicole, I would be mad if you didn't tell me. So I told you after and even though you said later that it was okay, I could tell that it wasn't totally. I should have talked to you about it then, but . . . well, avoidance is my MO, so there you have it."

He was still just looking at her with an unreadable expression, so she took a deep breath and continued. "The last time was the night his father died. I went to his house as a friend and ended up staying up most of the night talking."

"And nowhere in that conversation did it come up that you were seeing someone?"

"All we talked about was his Dad and what a jerk he was and about he and Rory. If I had any idea he had feelings for me or if he had said anything remotely inappropriate I would have told him. We just didn't talk about me at all. I still don't really know why I lied to you about it."

"Did you ask Rory to lie for you?"

"God, no!" she said, horrified. "I think she felt guilty because she asked me to go see him."

"She did?" A confused look crossed his face hearing Rory's role.

"He came to see her at Yale a few days before his Dad died, trying to reconnect with her and she blew him off. When we found out his Dad died, I think she felt really badly about that and she knew that he didn't have any close friends to lean on. That morning in the diner she tried to cover for me because she felt badly about pulling me into it and she was worried about you being mad. I was too hung over to protest."

"And later, when I asked you again?"

"I have nothing to say about that except that I suck."

"But why couldn't you tell me?"

"I felt like I was in this hole and I wasn't sure how to get out. I was afraid to tell you because I knew you would be mad and I was afraid to lose you, and look – I lost you anyway."

"If you really thought it was no big deal, why didn't you tell me?"

"By then I realized that it would be a big deal to you. If you had known how I felt, maybe I could have told you without worrying that you would hate me, but I haven't been too forthcoming there, either." She was trying to put it all on the table.

He seemed to recognize her effort. "Well, I can't say that I have either," he admitted. He took a deep breath and asked, "Are you in love with him?"

"No, not at all," she looked right at him for emphasis, then dropped her eyes and continued. "I think that I may have thought I was a long time ago, but I didn't even know what it meant to really be in love until recently. I have loved Chris, but _in love_, no. There were even times that I thought he might be the one, but when he chose Sherry, that was it for me. And now, I don't even respect him."

She hadn't realized the extent of what she was saying until the words were out of her mouth and she wanted to kick herself for revealing too much. Did he know what she had meant? His face was a jumble of emotion and the only one she could read clearly was relief.

"Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"The most painful thing I have ever experienced is seeing the look on your face before you walked out of the wedding, and having no idea what to say to you. I mean, he was so annoying all night, but what he said about us and my mom, I was so shocked I couldn't respond. I could just see you slipping away from me and knowing that it all started because of something I did...well, it hurt me worse than anything."

She looked at him now, willing him to say something, anything to let her know what he was thinking. She didn't want to push, knowing that had gotten them to where they were. His jaw was tensed and he was working the muscles the same way he had done before kissing her the first time. She couldn't tell if he was angry with her or just remembering the pain of the moment.

She waited a few more moments before asking, "Did you really believe what he said about 'for now?' Did you really think that I wanted to be with him?"

"You've always had this weird connection with him and no matter how good I thought we were doing, there was always this fear in the back of my mind that you wouldn't be satisfied with me."

"Because I didn't tell you how I felt?"

"I guess so, and Christopher and your mother just played into that." Lorelai felt her jaw tightening as he said that.

"You didn't trust me," she said softly, her voice breaking a bit. It was a statement, but he didn't deny it. "You expected me to screw up." She turned away from him and stood up so that he couldn't see the tears in her eyes.

"Lorelai…" he stood and looked at her helplessly.

"What? Is that really what you expected out of this? Is that what you meant when you said you were all in? Did 'all in' mean just until Lorelai screws it up?" She didn't realize that she was shouting until he shouted back at her.

"Lorelai, stop! I screwed up too!" She looked at him, then, surprised by the raw emotion in his voice. He looked at her for a moment, then continued, "I was afraid. I knew that I was falling deeper and deeper into this relationship, and it scared me. Because of that, I held back. I didn't tell you what I felt. If I had, maybe it would have changed things. Maybe you wouldn't have felt you had to lie to me."

She continued to look at him. They were both breathing hard and at a loss for words. The air around them felt angry and tense and she suddenly felt the need to escape the room. "I need a break. Do you want another beer?" He nodded slowly. "I'll go get it. I may be a few minutes."

"Take your time. I'll be here."

Lorelai pulled out the beers and popped off the tops, then sat down at the kitchen table and buried her face in her arms. She felt emotionally and physically drained and she still didn't know where this was going. The admission from him had cut her to the core and stirred up all of her own uncertainties about her relationships. If he couldn't trust her before, would he ever be able to trust her again? She sat there for a few more minutes before picking up the beers and returning to the living room.

She found Luke sitting on the couch, leaning forward, with his head in his hands. She sat down on the other end of the couch. "Hey, here's your beer."

"Thanks." He took a few drinks and then said, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For yelling, for . . . I don't know. For not trusting you with all of myself."

She looked at him then, with new understanding. "It's just hard to believe that something that felt so right was so screwed up."

"Not that screwed up. Just a hairline fracture."

"Do you think we could have fixed it if my mother hadn't interfered?"

He tensed at the mention of her mother, but then shrugged and said, "I don't know. Maybe, if we had looked closely enough." His tone suggested that he didn't think that would have happened, but he didn't say that.

"I've never been so angry with another person as I was that night with my mother. She had no right to shove Christopher in between us like that. It wasn't fair to you, to me and frankly, it wasn't fair to him either. I really don't ever want to speak to her again. I told her we were done."

"Don't say that. She's your mother."

"She's been horrible to you. She puts you down and treats you like crap. And you just take it. You won't let me stand up for you, but it's been so hard watching you just take it on my account."

"Isn't that what you have been doing most of your life, for Rory's benefit?" He looked directly at her and she knew he was right.

She sighed and looked away from his piercing eyes. "It's different. We're all related, we have to put up with it.

"No one should have to put up with it." She could see him start to reach for her hand, then stop. "But Lorelai…I can't let you cut them out because of me. I couldn't live with knowing that I caused something that you would live to regret someday." She started to shake her head but he continued. "Trust me when I say that you would regret it."

The certainty and sadness in his voice struck her and she knew he was thinking of his parents. She sighed softly, thinking how different his parents must have been from hers. She almost didn't hear him continue, "I'll never be good enough for your parents. That's got to matter to you."

"Luke, _I've_ never been good enough for my parents," she said bitterly. "It hardly matters to me whether they approve of you."

"It matters to me. I don't want to come between you and your family."

"Well you don't, because the fact is that whatever this is between my mom and me is about more than you. What happened at the wedding made that much more clear."

"Made what clear?"

"She's my mother. She's supposed to care about me. All my life she has disapproved of me and I have disappointed her. It's just the game we play." She saw him wince as she brushed away the years of pain. "But this was different. She saw me happy, really, really happy. She knew that I cared about you and that this was serious and she deliberately tried to take that away. She's never intentionally done something to hurt me before and I don't know how to forgive her for that." She choked back a sob as tears welled in her eyes. "It just hurts so much that she cares so little for me. We have our moments, but I thought we were getting closer. I thought she needed me, but now that she's got Dad back, she doesn't need me anymore." The tears had started streaming down her face as years of repressed pain fell upon her all at once. She wasn't sure exactly when or how it happened, but she realized at some point that Luke had pulled her toward him and she was resting her head on his chest, sobbing. He said nothing, just held her, smoothed her hair and gently rubbed her back. They sat like that for a while, the only sounds her soft sobs. The moment felt both familiar and foreign all at once. She breathed in the scent of him and felt his strong arms around her, comforted by his presence, while at the same time filled with uncertainty. She didn't know which Luke was holding her, best friend Luke, or boyfriend Luke.

Eventually the reality of what had passed between them hit her and she sat up, "I can't believe I'm doing this again."

"What?"

"Crying on you. I promised you I wouldn't do that again."

"Lorelai, it's okay to lean on people once in a while. You don't have to be strong all the time." He gently pulled her back. "That's what I'm here for." She was too exhausted to resist, and gradually his gentle caresses began to relax her. She wanted desperately to know what they were, where they were going, but didn't want to ruin the moment by asking. She decided instead that perhaps it wasn't too late to starting saying some of the things that needed saying. She murmured softly, "In case I didn't say it clearly enough before, I'm in love with you." She drifted off to sleep without knowing his reaction to her words, and without knowing which Luke held her.

**

* * *

Author's Note:** Thanks for reading. I'd love to know what you think.


	4. First Date Again

**Disclaimer:** These characters are owned by the WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and Amy Sherman-Palladino.

**Author's Note:** Thanks again to jesouhaite for beta-reading this chapter. It is much better for her feedback. I had written most of this before So…Good Talk, but had a hard time wrapping it up after ASP's very different approach to the reconciliation. I continue to appreciate everyone's reviews and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

* * *

Luke awoke with a start, not realizing that he had dozed off. The sweet scent of Lorelai's shampoo and her warm breath on his arm reminded him where he was and he smiled as he looked down at her sleeping in his arms. It felt good to hold her again, especially after such a tense night. She had put it all on the table and he felt more than a little regret for his silence. He could tell that his tendency to rush to conclusions and his lack of words had hurt her, but she had said it all anyway. Her admission had made him feel both more complete and yet somehow smaller at the same time. He'd always thought of her being the one afraid of relationships and yet…he was the one holding back. Since the beginning of their relationship, he'd relied on his actions to show her his feelings, but now he realized there were some things too important to be left to interpretation. 

She was sleeping soundly and judging from how tired she had looked these last couple of days, she needed it. He also wasn't quite sure it would be a good idea for him to wake up at her house in the morning. Slipping out from beside her, he laid her head gently on a cushion before covering her with a blanket. She stirred just a bit so he rubbed her shoulder until she settled again, then placed a soft kiss on her forehead. He found a piece of paper and pen, and thought for a moment before writing a short note. After leaving it on the coffee table he let himself out, hoping he would get a chance to make up for his silence.

* * *

The bell jangled above the door, but since it was the breakfast rush, Luke didn't look up right away. It wasn't until all conversation suddenly stopped that he turned around and saw her in the doorway, clearly not expecting to be the center of attention of the entire diner. The sight of her, here in the diner, made his stomach quiver. He gave her a smile and she returned it tentatively as she made her way slowly to the counter and sat down. 

"Hey."

"Good morning. Welcome back. Coffee?" he asked, a little too eagerly.

Lorelai was flustered, "Um…No…I don't think so. But, a donut I will take," she added brightly, as she nervously twisted a lock of hair with her finger.

"Okay, here you go," Luke swallowed his disappointment and forced a smile.

"Thanks. Uh Luke?"

"What?"

"Is everyone still staring at us?"

He glanced around the diner, glaring at the wide-mouthed patrons, willing them to look elsewhere, which they gradually did. "Not anymore."

"Good."

"Are you okay? It was a rough night."

"You mean the part where I poured my heart out to this amazing guy and he didn't respond or the part where I cried about my mommy and he held me till I fell asleep?"

He felt a pang of guilt at her statement, but attempted to keep it light by saying, "So there was an amazing guy, huh?"

"Yeah, he brought me dinner and we talked and the only thing is…"

"What?"

"I can't figure out if he was there as my best friend or as my boyfriend." She looked down to avoid his eyes as she finished the statement.

"Would it be possible for him to be both?" he ventured slowly.

She lifted her head to meet his eyes and a small smile appeared on her lips. "That would be perfect," she breathed.

He let out a sigh of relief and asked, "Did you get my note?"

"Yep. I folded it up and put it in my wallet. I think I will keep it there for a while."

"Good," he said with a grin, meeting her eyes for a moment, both of them too overwhelmed to speak.

Gypsy broke the silence. "So, you two are grinning like idiots. Does that mean you are finally back together?"

Luke looked at Lorelai questioningly. She gave a small nod and Luke said, "Yeah, I guess we are."

"Excellent. Andrew owes me twenty bucks!"

Lorelai opened her mouth in shock as Luke said, "Aw jeez!"

"Andrew bet against us?" Lorelai asked, looking insulted.

"It was a time thing. He said less than a month and I said more, but you actually had to get back together for me to collect."

They glanced at several people exchanging money before Luke said, "Okay, anyone involved in paying off or receiving a bet, leave now!" He looked around sternly, until he heard Lorelai giggling and saw her pointing.

"What?"

"Kirk is trying to pay off himself. He couldn't even decide how to bet!"

Luke tried to be exasperated, but finally chuckled. "So," he said, "are you busy tonight?"

"Well I was planning to sit at home alone and try not to think of you, unless you have a better offer."

"Can I take you out for dinner?"

"Where?"

"Anywhere you want."

"Wow, such power," she teased. "Hmm…I know."

"Where? And please tell me you are not thinking of Al's."

"No, I was thinking more about Sniffy's Tavern," she said shyly. "We can start over and do it right this time."

"That sounds great. How's 7:00?"

"Great. Hey Luke…?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I have some coffee?"

* * *

"Hey Buddy, you'll never guess who called me and asked for a table for two tonight." 

"Oh, I hate when you do this. How am I supposed to know?"

Maisie came around the corner, into the kitchen, looked at him with a smile in her eyes and said, "Just guess."

He looked at her for a moment, wondering who she would be happy to see. "Wait, it couldn't be Lucas could it? Has that boy found himself another girl already?"

"We're talking about Lucas, Buddy. He doesn't move on easily, and you saw the way those two were together. He couldn't be with someone new."

"Well that means… I've got to get working on planning their dinner then!" as he excitedly began fussing around the kitchen.

Maisie watched him and chuckled, thinking how glad she was to be seeing Lucas tonight. It had been almost a month since she had seen him last. He had come in alone, which was not unusual. Even after he started dating Lorelai and they began coming to Sniffy's periodically, he still sometimes came by himself, though not as frequently as he had in the past. The most recent visit was different, however. There were shadows under his eyes and his shoulders drooped. He cast wistful glances at the table he and Lorelai always shared when they came together. After that, he hadn't been back.

For the first couple of weeks, Maisie didn't think much about it. Lucas sometimes went two weeks without stopping by, but then it stretched to three weeks. Maisie had called Liz, who informed her that yes, Lucas and Lorelai had broken up and Lucas was very cranky about it. It was typical of Liz to think no more about it than that, Maisie thought bitterly.

She knew from the moment they walked in the door that night that there was something different between them. Lucas carried himself with a confidence she hadn't seen in ages and Lorelai was radiant. Their fingers were intertwined and her other hand was wrapped around his arm. The most startling difference was Lucas' wide smile.

As they sat and ate their dinner, Maisie marveled at how intently focused they were on each other. She had noticed before the strong connection that they had, but now she had the sense that they were also completely aware of each other in a physical sense as well. Unlike the tentative first date touches that had told her right away how much they were attracted to each other, tonight there was constant physical contact. Lucas held her hand for a long time at the table, gently doing small circles with his thumb. When he let go of her right hand so that she could eat, he rested his on her knee and she held it with her left hand.

Lorelai was animated and talkative and Lucas seemed content to sit back and listen to her speak. For a while they seemed satisfied to just be with each other, but Maisie was not surprised when they declined dessert and coffee. They became quieter, their conversation changing from playful banter to something a bit more serious. The need and desire that was hiding beneath the surface of their interactions became more apparent. Maisie watched them as they left, relieved that Lucas had found his way back to this woman who could bring out his smile.

* * *

As they walked to his truck, Luke wrapped his arm around Lorelai's waist and let his thumb slowly caress her back. When Luke began to open the door, she turned to face him and then they were kissing. He didn't know who started it, just that it was full of need and desire. His hands slipped under her shirt to touch bare skin and she shivered. She ran her fingers across his stubble and around to the back of his neck. He broke away just long enough to kiss under her earlobe and trail kisses down her neck. She leaned into him and moaned, "Oh God, Luke." Then he was back to her lips and her mouth. This time she broke away and said breathlessly, "Take me home." 

"So you want me to drop you off at your house?" he asked jokingly between kisses.

"I was thinking more along the lines of you taking me to your place."

"Well, if you insist," he answered huskily.

The drive back to the diner seemed much, much longer than the actual 15 minutes. Lorelai kept her hand on his leg, rubbing the inner seam of his jeans, in spite of his repeated reminders that he was driving and that she was dangerously distracting. They walked quickly through the not-quite-empty diner without even considering a stop for coffee. Luke led her into his apartment wordlessly, and shut the door as Lorelai wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a long, deep kiss.

Being surrounded by the smell and feel of her released all of the emotion he had been hiding for over a month. He could sense her need as strongly as his own and it made both of them almost frantic. Shirts were removed, bodies were caressed and kissed as they tried to make up for lost time.

Luke felt Lorelai reach to unbutton his jeans and he held her hands to stop her. "Lorelai, wait. I..."

"Please Luke, no more talking…want more kissing… more clothes taking offing," she pleaded in between kisses.

He lost himself for a moment, then pulled back, holding her shoulders. "Lorelai, I need to say it." He felt her stiffen and saw a look of panic, then realization in her eyes.

"You said it in your note."

"I need to say it out loud." He paused and took a breath. "I love you and I'm sorry if I ever gave you reason to think otherwise."

Her expression softened further after hearing the words he had held back for so long. "I love you too," she whispered. She reached her hands up to his face and kissed him softly, caressing the sides of his face with her thumbs. He pulled her in closer, deepening the kiss as she ran her arms over his shoulders and down his back. Though no longer frantic, the urgency returned and the rest of their clothing was quickly removed as Luke pulled Lorelai toward the bed.

Afterwards, Lorelai lay in the curve of Luke's arm with her head resting on his shoulder. "So this is what it's like to be in love?" she whispered.

"Yeah."

"Luke, I…this is amazing. I could get used to this."

"Me too," he said softly as he leaned over to kiss her.

"Wait." She jumped up, "We need to celebrate."

"Isn't that what we were doing?"

"No. . . well yeah, but I remember you had some wine in here somewhere. Champagne would be more appropriate, but being in a relationship is about making compromises, right?" She looked up at him with a grin, and he chuckled. Finding one of Luke's flannel shirts on the floor, she pulled it on. "This smells good, but it isn't quite right. Where is mine?"

"Yours?" he asked as he raised his eyebrows, but then he pointed to one of the boxes stacked across the room. She walked over to the box and searched through it until she found the blue plaid shirt. He drew in a breath as she slipped out of one shirt and into the other.

She hugged her arms around her and said, "Much better. Now, let me find that wine."

Later, after Lorelai had talked him into far more wine than he would ever choose to drink on his own, she headed to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Luke lay back on his pillow with his hands behind his head and closed his eyes.

"Hey, Luke?" the quiver in Lorelai's voice startled him.

"Oh shit," he muttered to himself as he jumped out of bed.

He found her in the bathroom, staring at four small holes in the wall. "You took down my shelf."

"I just put it away. It reminded me of you." She didn't say anything, so he lifted his hands and placed them on her shoulders. "What's wrong? You said you put stuff away too."

"I know. It's just…it was attached to the wall." Her voice cracked just a bit and he could see her blinking back tears.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I am. It's stupid."

"No, it's not stupid. It hurt me to take it down."

Lorelai turned around in his arms and kissed him gently on the lips. "I'm sorry. Minor freak-out. I'm assuming that you put away my toothpaste?"

"Yeah, I'll get it." He rubbed his hands down her arms and kissed the top of her head before turning toward the door. Then he stopped, looked back and said, "Hey, I'm looking forward to putting it back up." He was rewarded with a soft smile.

When she returned from the bathroom, Luke looked up from the bed and his heart leaped at the sight of her in the familiar flannel. She climbed in beside him and placed her head on his shoulder, her hand on his heart and tucked her knees under his. "So did you miss my crazy toothpaste breath?"

"I missed everything about you." He placed his hand behind her head and pulled her in for a deep, soft kiss, gently stroking her cheek with his thumb. She ran her hand up his chest and around his head, pulling him closer and running her fingers through the hair at the back of his neck.

"I missed everything too," she murmured against his lips, as they continued to kiss, continued to touch. This time was deliciously slow. They took their time rediscovering each other's favorite places with soft touches and kisses and quiet murmurs of love and affection. There were still some questions, but they were together and for now, that was enough.

_To be continued._


	5. Unpacking

**Disclaimer:** These characters are owned by the WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and Amy Sherman-Palladino.

**Author's Note:** Thanks again to JeSouhaite for beta-reading this chapter. As always, this chapter is much better for her feedback. I appreciate everyone's reviews and I hope you continue to enjoy this story.

* * *

As Lorelai walked into the kitchen at the inn, Sookie looked at her with surprise, "Lorelai, what are you doing here so early? Didn't you have your date with Luke last night?" 

"Yeah," she replied, smiling to herself as she remembered.

"Then, did it not go well?" Sookie asked, her brow wrinkled with confusion.

"It was amazing, Sookie. Why would you think-"

"Then what are you doing here? You're supposed to be in bed all day, having fabulous make-up sex."

Lorelai grinned. "Oh, we did that. Trust me when I say that we did that. But Luke had already promised Lane the day off, so he had to be at the diner for breakfast."

"Well that never stopped you from sleeping in before. He didn't kick you out, did he?"

"No, he didn't kick me out. He told me I could stay, but …I don't know. I guess I just didn't want to be in bed alone."

"Oh my god, that is so sweet. So…good date?"

"_Great_ date. Sookie, he told me he loved me."

"I know, you already told me about the note."

"No, I mean he _told_ me. He made a point of saying it out loud. Sookie, he really loves me."

"Lorelai hon, I hate to break it to you, but Luke has loved you for _years_. You had to have known that."

"I guess I did, but with the break up, I wasn't sure. I just didn't realize how much I needed to hear him say it."

* * *

Luke looked up when she entered the diner, his eyes smiling, "Hey." 

"Hey. Long time, no see." She walked to the counter, looking around shyly to see how full the diner was. Satisfied that no one was paying attention, she reached for Luke's hand, leaned in, and gave him a kiss. When she saw him glancing around the diner nervously, she giggled, "Need to work up to public displays of affection again?"

"Yeah, I guess so. More practice might help," he said as he leaned in for another quick kiss. "So, good day? You must have had a long day at the inn. It's late."

"Much better now, but I'm starving. Can I have a hamburger and fries?"

"That's what you had for lunch. I can't serve you that again with a good conscience."

"Well, serve it to me with a bad conscience, but I missed my Luke burgers, so I need to make up for lost time."

"Let me make something slightly more healthy for both of us to eat together? Please?"

"I like the eating together part. You make healthy food for you, a burger for me and you've got a deal."

"You're hopeless," Luke grumbled as he turned back to the kitchen to make the food.

"What's this? This is no burger," Lorelai said, poking at the salad and the chicken pieces on top of it.

"Chicken Caesar salad."

"It's green," she protested.

"It's a salad."

"Exactly my point. What made you think that I would eat this?"

"I thought you might want to live past your 40th birthday."

"Oh, that again."

"Well, I want you to live past your 40th birthday."

"Aww shucks, isn't that sweet of you," she teased. When she looked up at him, though, his expression was serious. "Fine, I'll eat it this time, but don't think you're going to get away with this next time."

"I have been sufficiently warned." The joking tone was back and he smirked at her.

"So when do you finish up here tonight?"

"I'll be here pretty late. I can walk you home before Caesar leaves, though."

"Come over later?" she asked hopefully.

"I can't. I have an early delivery tomorrow and for some reason I didn't get much sleep last night."

Lorelai felt a twinge of disappointment and fear at the refusal, but she hid it with her typical banter. "For some reason, huh? Was it at least a good reason?"

"Yeah, a pretty good reason."

"Pretty good? Just pretty good? I'll have you know-"

Luke cut her off with a kiss, then pulled back and chuckled. "Good to know that still shuts you up."

* * *

"Rory, why didn't he want me to stay? Why did he send me away?" 

"It hardly sounds like he sent you away. Didn't he leave the diner to walk you home?"

"Well, yeah," Lorelai paused as she remembered Luke's arm around her waist as they walked home and the way he looked at her before he reached his hand behind her neck and pulled her in for a deep goodnight kiss.

"Mom, you guys were apart for a month. Isn't it going to take a little time to get back to the way you were?"

"I don't want it to. I don't want to sleep alone anymore."

"You will be back to your old dirtiness soon enough, I'm sure."

"What if he doesn't want this?"

"Mom, you are being ridiculous. He loves you, right? At least, that's what you said when you called me at an ungodly hour this morning."

A smile broke out on Lorelai's face as she said, "That's what he says."

"And he means it, Mom."

* * *

The next night, while getting ready for her movie date with Luke, Lorelai worked on convincing herself that everything was great with Luke. Sure, he hadn't wanted her to stay last night, but he had been happy to see her at breakfast and lunch. He stopped what he was doing as soon as she came in and he kissed her in public. Then there was that smile, the smile that only she got to see. Yeah, things were good. She heard the knock on the door and her stomach fluttered as she bounced down the stairs to let him in. He stepped inside and greeted her with an affectionate kiss. 

"You ready?" Luke asked.

"Yeah, so what's playing?" He didn't answer right away and she noticed him looking around the room with a slight frown on his face. "Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"I just asked you what was playing? Are you okay?"

"Sorry. Umm…I don't know, something old. Hey, you still have all those boxes piled up."

Lorelai sighed heavily, "Yeah, I guess I need to unpack them."

"Is that going to be such a chore?" There was an edge to his voice that Lorelai couldn't identify.

"Well, there are a lot of them. I just don't want to think about it right now."

He took a deep breath, and his shoulders slumped as he let it out, "Fine."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, it's just that we should get going."

As they left the movie and headed to the diner for coffee, Lorelai asked, "Are you sure that you are okay? You've been kind of quiet all night. What's going on?"

"It's nothing. You were pretty quiet too."

"We were at a movie."

"That doesn't usually stop you."

"Luke, are you sure? Because if something is wrong, if you don't want to be back together, I want to know."

"What? Why would you say that?" He looked genuinely surprised at her suggestion.

"You've been cool all night, and…"

"What?"

"Why didn't you want me to stay last night?"

"I had an early delivery."

"That didn't stop us before."

"Lorelai, it's only been two days. Don't you think that we need a little time to get used to being with each other again?"

"Not really, but you do?"

"Maybe a little."

"How long?" She tried to keep the pleading tone out of her voice.

"I don't know."

She was quiet for a moment before he said, "I would like you to stay tonight, if you will." He squeezed her hand and looked at her with a question in his eyes.

"Well, if you insist," she replied, the corners of her mouth turning up into a small smile.

Lorelai felt the familiar tingle as Luke led her upstairs to his apartment and opened the door. When she walked in, she could tell something was different, but it took her a moment to recognize the coffeemaker sitting on the counter, the blue plaid shirt hanging near the bed, and a stack of CDs near the stereo. She turned to him with a sparkle in her eye and said, "You unpacked the boxes!"

"Yeah, it was time," he said as he pulled her toward him for a kiss. She started to pull away but he held her tightly.

"Wait, Luke," she said, pulling away in spite of the wanting look in his eyes. She ran to the bathroom and a moment later ran back to give him an enthusiastic hug and kiss. "You put it back up!" She kissed him again, mumbling against his mouth, "You put my shelf back up."

* * *

In spite of Luke's words about needing time to get used to each other again, Lorelai felt a shift in their relationship within a couple of days. It wasn't anything that she could put her finger on, just a sense that they were back to truly being a couple. Rory had mentioned it this morning when she had talked to her. "Things must be going well with you and Luke. You keep saying 'we.'" And maybe that was it. She was now part of a 'we' in a way that she had never allowed herself to be before. 

She popped a movie in to keep her company while waiting for Luke to close up the diner. It was comfortable to be expecting him, to have him come home to her. He knocked softly on the door, then stepped inside. That felt comfortable too. He came over to the couch and leaned over to give her a kiss. "What're you watching?"

"When Harry Met Sally. You know, old friends falling in love. Hey, what should we do this weekend? We should do something to celebrate our first weekend back together." He didn't answer, so she turned to look at him.

"Luke? What do you think about this weekend?"

"I don't know. I might be pretty busy at the diner." His face was stony and Lorelai was baffled.

"It's our first weekend together in a while. Don't you want to spend it with me?"

"If I thought that you really wanted to be with me."

"What are you talking about?"

"Damn it Lorelai, you've still got me packed up in boxes!"

"That's what this is about, the boxes?" she asked, incredulous.

"I saw that you were upset about the shelf. I unpacked, I invited you back in and you won't do the same."

"I tried." She gestured toward one box that was open and partially unpacked.

"You mean you looked through a box until you got to a movie, then you gave up? You get an A for effort." His voice was bitter.

"How dare you. You have no idea how hard it is to think about going through those boxes."

"What's so hard about it? We're together now." His voice was gentler now, questioning.

"That day that I packed up all these boxes was one of the worst days of my life. It was the day that I realized that no matter how many things I put into boxes, there was always going to be a piece of you here." She looked up at him and he took her hand. "I filled all of these boxes, and I am a terrible packer, so there are a lot of boxes, and it still didn't help. There was still the window that you fixed and the porch rail and the shingles and the lock on the door. So I tried to leave, but this whole town, even the inn, has so many memories of you. I just…I didn't think that I was ever going to get over you. And that hurt. And unpacking the boxes just brings it all back. So I'm sorry, but it's just hard."

"No, no, I'm sorry. I didn't realize." Luke pulled her into a tight embrace and held her for a few moments. "You know I'm not going anywhere, right?"

Lorelai just nodded. Talking would cause tears to flow and she was desperately trying to avoid tears.

"Hey, would it help if we unpacked the stuff together? Maybe I could come over after lunch tomorrow."

* * *

The next afternoon, Lorelai was digging through piles of clothes on her bed and on the floor when she heard Luke calling from downstairs, "Lorelai, are you here?" 

"Upstairs."

As he climbed the stairs he said, "I brought you a burger, in case you hadn't eaten. Are you-" he stopped as he walked into the room. "I guess you started without me."

"Well, there was something I wanted to do before you got here. Here, take this," she said, handing him a box.

"What's this?"

"It's the Luke box."

"Aren't these all Luke boxes?"

"Yes, but this is the box that has all of your things. Some of them I already put away in the bathroom, on your shelf." She was grinning.

"My shelf?" he asked as his lips curved up into a slight smile.

"Yeah, well, don't get too excited, its just a shelf in the medicine cabinet. I didn't actually build you anything. But I do want to show you this." She led him over to the dresser and pointed to an empty bottom drawer. "This is for you. I didn't put your stuff in it yet, because I thought you might want to do that." She knew she was smiling like a little kid.

"Lorelai, are you sure you have room for this? You don't have a lot of storage space, and you have enough clothes for three lifetimes-"

"Hey stop that."

"What? You do have a ton of clothes."

"Not that. I meant, here I'm trying to invite you in and you're turning me down?"

"Oh, that."

"Yes that. Take the drawer before I reconsider and take it back."

"Okay, I want it. But let's go eat before the food gets cold and then we can come back up and work on unpacking." He started to head for the bedroom door and then stopped, turned around and took Lorelai's hand. "Hey…" She looked up to meet his eyes. "Thanks." She just smiled and kissed him before following him downstairs.

After eating lunch, they went back upstairs to continue unpacking the boxes. Lorelai watched with a secret smile while Luke carefully folded his clothes and put them in 'his' drawer. As she put away her clothes she would occasionally hold them up to quiz Luke on their significance. She was surprised at the accuracy of his memory and by the wistful look in his eye when reminded of all of the 'moments' from their past. He seemed to remember everything: the sweatshirt she wore when he gave her the chuppah, the shoe he repaired at the dance marathon, and the shirt she wore when he drove her to the hospital. At each recalled memory, they shared moments of silent contemplation, until one or the other of them looked away, or found some other item to make a joke about. Their past hung around them like a story waiting to be told, each brief reminder like a teaser for a longer chapter. Acknowledging their shared history, even without discussing it, was comforting to Lorelai. It reinforced her sense of being part of a 'we.'

Eventually the bedroom was back to normal, with storage space at a premium. Lorelai could tell that even though Luke continued to express concern about taking up space in her crowded dresser, that he was secretly pleased with 'his' drawer and 'his' shelf.

They continued their work downstairs, with Luke constantly amazed at the connections Lorelai had made between him and her belongings. He began unloading videotapes and DVDs onto the shelves, stopping occasionally to confirm the reason, "happily ever after?" or "something that I would mock?" He had filled the available shelves and asked, "What about the rest of the videos? Do you want to keep the games out or what?"

Lorelai paused and thought for a bit. "I don't really want to put the games away. Rory and I have been having fun with them. We talk more playing games than we do while watching movies."

"You do? How is that possible?" Luke said in mock astonishment.

Lorelai narrowed her eyes at him before her expression softened and she continued, "Maybe it's not that we talk more, it's just that we talk about more significant stuff."

"Then maybe we shouldn't put them away. In fact, I challenge you to a game of Monopoly when we're done unpacking," he said with a grin.

"Hey, you just chose that because you know I'm terrible with money."

"Maybe," he admitted.

"Okay, but you have to agree to name your playing piece, and next time we play Parcheesi."

"Name my playing piece?"

"It's a Gilmore rule," she replied, with a glint in her eye.

"Well, then. Who can argue with that?" Luke shrugged and opened up another box. "Hey Lorelai, what's this?"

"It's a lamp."

"I _know_ it's a lamp," he said.

"Well you asked."

"I just wanted to know what it was doing in here. What does this have to do with me?"

"I got that lamp to replace the one you broke chasing Stella. You remember the chick?"

"Oh yes, I remember the chick, and I remember that night," He looked at her thoughtfully. "I almost kissed you that night."

"Really? Lorelai said, less surprised about the admission, than that he had mentioned it. She could remember the moment he was talking about with perfect clarity, and also the instinct to run that had come over her as soon as she had realized what he was thinking.

"Yeah, we were sitting on the floor, behind the counter." He looked up at her and she nodded, confirming the memory. "So…" she nodded again, waiting for whatever it was he was having trouble saying. "What if I had? Would we be where we are now?"

"If you had kissed me four years ago, I'd hope by now we'd be …" Lorelai's voice trailed off as she realized she'd been about to say 'married.' Her hesitation came not from trying to avoid an awkward conversation, but because she wasn't sure she believed the words. They had come from the Lorelai of now who knew what she wanted and believed in its possibility. The Lorelai of four years ago, the one Luke would have kissed, was not the same person at all. She felt a lump in her throat at the thought of the opportunities they had missed because of her fear.

"Lorelai?" Luke's voice had a hopeful tone, as if he understood what she'd been about to say and wanted her to confirm it. She bit her lip and tried to compose herself as she lifted her eyes to meet his, knowing her sadness would confuse and worry him. "Lorelai?" he repeated softly.

"I don't think…It wouldn't have worked then."

"Why?" he asked, uncertainty in his voice and concern in his eyes.

"I would have been too afraid of what it would mean and how it would change things. Did you think about that?"

"Yeah. I was worried about you not feeling the same way and things getting awkward between us," Luke paused. "Did you?"

"What?"

"Feel the same way. I mean, it seemed like…"

"Yeah, there were feelings. I just didn't want to admit there were."

"So why don't you think it would have worked?"

"I would have run from it, like I ran from every relationship. Especially if it were you."

"Why?"

"I would have hurt you because anything with you would have been serious, and I was afraid of serious."

"What changed?"

"I don't know exactly. Maybe I grew up. Maybe it took almost getting married to the wrong guy, or dating someone with screwed up priorities to make me realize what I did want and not to be afraid to go for it."

"And what did you want?" he asked softly, as if he were afraid of her answer.

"Love… a partner. When I did get that, I didn't run, but I still hurt you, so maybe I haven't totally grown up yet."

He was looking at her strangely, maybe uncomfortable with the conversation, maybe just at a loss for words. Lorelai broke the silence, "What do you think? Would it have worked then?

"I don't know. I was never sure of your feelings. Sometimes I thought there was something and then other times …not so much. I think I needed Nicole…" Lorelai felt her stomach tighten at the mention of Nicole. "To make me realize that I couldn't transfer my feelings from one person to another, no matter how hard I tried. But without that, I don't know when I would have gotten the nerve to tell you how I felt. So maybe you're right. Maybe we needed all those years."

Lorelai pondered this and asked the other question that had been nagging her, "Do you think we needed the break-up too?"

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then glanced at her briefly, before saying, "I think that it made us realize how we felt about each other and forced us deal with some things that we needed to deal with."

Lorelai heard the truth in his words and felt her stomach tighten again. She sighed and looked down.

After a long moment of silence, he continued, "I don't think breaking up was the only way for us to deal with that stuff, but it needed to be done and if we hadn't been apart, it might have taken us a long time to get there."

Lorelai looked at him with sadness in her eyes, "Are we that screwed up? Is it supposed to be this hard?"

"I don't know. But…there's nobody I'd rather be screwed up with," he said as his serious look turned into a soft smile.

"Me neither and, dirty!" Lorelai's giggle broke the tension and he pulled her close. They sat that way for a while, Lorelai reflecting on the pain and anguish that had been the past month and the necessity of it, feeling only relief that they had found their way back together again.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Luke, "Now, what the hell is this and why does it have anything to do with me?" he asked, holding up a Hello Kitty keychain.

"Hmmm…Maybe that was in the 'Luke would mock' category. Or it might have been in the 'Lorelai's brain wasn't functioning properly' category. I'm not exactly sure, but you must have realized by now that logic has no part in what went into these boxes." The babbling effectively covered the dizziness she felt when she saw what Luke was holding and remembered exactly why it was in the box.

"Well, that certainly seems to be the case, otherwise how would we explain the box of instant mashed potatoes?" he said with a smirk as Lorelai let out a breath, knowing she would acknowledge the importance of the keychain soon, but didn't need to deal with it immediately.

The rest of the unpacking fell into a comfortable rhythm of banter and playfulness, punctuated periodically by shared moments of recollection. After finishing the unpacking, Luke moved into the kitchen as if he belonged there and without asking, began putting together a simple dinner.

While they were eating, the phone rang. When she didn't make a move to answer it, Luke gave her a strange look. "Hold on a sec. I want to see who's calling."

"Do you usually-" He stopped as the answering machine kicked in and they heard Emily's voice as clearly as if she were in the room with them.

"Lorelai, it's your mother. I know that you probably think that ignoring me is amusing, but it is downright childish and you should know better than to treat your own mother this way. You're obviously upset, but I'm sure we could work out our misunderstanding in a civilized manner if you would just return my calls."

Luke reached for her hand and she looked up to see his stunned look. "How can she talk to you that way? How can she call it a misunderstanding?"

"That's just Emily," Lorelai said, her voice resigned, as she felt renewed pain at the thought of her mother.

"How long has she been calling?"

"A little over a week. They just got back from their honeymoon. She started calling when I didn't show up to Friday Night Dinner."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's fine."

"No, it's not fine. It's not fine at all."

_To be continued._


	6. About Family

**Disclaimer:** These characters are owned by the WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and Amy Sherman-Palladino. 

**Author's Note:** I intentionally wrote much of this before the Emily and Luke conversation in So…Good Talk, but then ended up rewriting most of their discussion anyway. I am finding it really hard to write Emily since she got so bitchy on the show. I hope that I have portrayed her somewhat realistically. Thanks again to JeSouhaite for beta-reading and for the encouragement. I also wanted to thank everyone who has reviewed. I really appreciate the feedback.

* * *

Luke and Lorelai were engaged in their typical post movie-date banter, arguing the merits of whichever movie they had just seen. Luke couldn't even remember the name of it anymore. They pulled up to her house and the light-hearted debate continued seamlessly as they got out of the truck and headed for the front door.

"Uh, Luke…hold on a sec." Lorelai put her hand gently on his forearm and turned to face him. Her voice was soft and tentative, such a change from the moments before.

"Are you okay?" he asked, baffled by the sudden seriousness.

"Yeah, I'm fine. There's just something I want to tell you."

"Okay, let's go inside and we can talk about whatever you want."

"No, I need to…I want to do it here." She glanced at him quickly, then ducked her eyes to look for something in her purse. He watched her impatiently as she dug through her belongings, nervousness playing tricks on his stomach.

"Aha, here it is," she said triumphantly. He was relieved to hear the tone in her voice until he heard her take a deep breath, as if she was preparing a speech. She held up her hand, which was closed tightly around a small object. He could see a familiar bit of plastic sticking out of her fist.

"It's that keychain from the box. The one that had no logical reason for being there," he teased, surprised to see her shake her head. "Well then, it looks the same."

"It is the keychain, but it had a very logical reason for being there," she said, her voice soft and serious. As she finished her sentence she opened her fist and held out the keychain with a single shiny new key dangling from it. Realization was beginning to dawn, but he didn't say anything. "I was going to give this to you…before."

"Before?"

"Yeah, before," confirming his unstated question. She paused, as if waiting for him, but he was at a loss for words. She looked up at him thoughtfully, realizing that he was waiting for her. She took one more breath and once she started the words tumbled out all on their own. "I wanted to give this to you after you got the TV and built me that shelf in the bathroom. I wanted to do something to show you…something. So I found this crazy keychain that I thought would remind you of me," at this she quickly caught his eye and smiled softly before looking down again, "and I got a key…to my house. At least I tried to, but the first two didn't work, so I had to go back to the hardware store twice because stupid Kirk doesn't know how to operate the key cutter. So I didn't get a chance to get a working copy before…" She paused for only a moment to meet his eyes before the words flowed again. "I know that you've never needed a key when you really wanted to get in the house, so this isn't an actual necessity, but I wanted you to know that you don't have to ask to come in anymore. I mean, you never really did need to, but anyway, that's why it was in the box, filed in the category of missed opportunities."

She stopped as suddenly as she started and the silence caught him by surprise. He realized then that he'd been holding his breath the whole time she was speaking. For so long this house had been the place she shared with only Rory, but she was opening the door to him, letting him be a part of her life in a way that she had never allowed with any other man. He found himself wondering, had she given it to him _before,_ would it have been enough for him to trust her feelings? When he looked up and saw her tentative smile, he wondered if she was thinking the same thing. She held out her hand and placed the key in his, the metal warmed by her grip.

He held her hand for a moment as they looked at each other. He didn't know how to acknowledge such a moment, so he simply said, "Thank you." His words made her look down shyly before looking up again and smiling.

"You know that now this means you need to start doing things like sneaking in and cooking me dinner, right?" she teased.

"I already make you dinner almost every night."

"But not with the secret-surprise-waiting-at-home-for-me part."

Luke chuckled and shook his head in mock disbelief. "Do I have to keep it on this keychain?"

"What? You don't like the keychain? It makes it easy to find the right key. What if there was an emergency and you needed to get into the house really fast to save me?"

"How about one of those colored key tags? They make them in pink," he suggested hopefully.

"I don't know. It wouldn't be quite the same."

"Exactly my point."

"So are you going to use it?" She gestured toward the door, her dancing eyes betraying her excitement. He watched her giggling as he fumbled with the key and hoped she didn't notice his trembling hand.

After hanging her coat on the coat rack, Lorelai glanced at the answering machine, which was flashing. She gave a sigh of resignation before pressing the play button.

"Lorelai, it's-"

Luke felt the sharpness in Emily's words, even in the brief moments before Lorelai cut it off. She was turned away from him, but he could see anger in the way that she clenched her fist, then the sadness that took over as she slumped her shoulders. He hesitated for a moment before stepping over, placing his hands on her shoulders and whispering, "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, I just…" her voice trailed off as she leaned back into him and he wrapped his arms tightly around her. After a few moments, he loosened his grip and led her gently to the couch and sat her down next to him.

"Does she call often?"

"At least once a day, sometimes at the inn too."

He paused for a moment, then took a deep breath before saying, "I hope you're not avoiding talking to her on my account."

He felt her tense, "No Luke, you know it's so much more than that."

"I know that there's a lot more between you than what happened with us, but I just don't want you to feel like you have to maintain some sort of loyalty to me."

She turned to him then, her eyes serious, "I know…and I appreciate that, but I also can't let her treat you…us like that. Maybe things will get better between us in time, but for now…I don't know. Just please don't ever think that any of this is your responsibility. It's so much more than that." She sank back into his arms again and they sat there for a while, silent. Luke knew that she was right. The fissure between Lorelai and Emily was already long and deep before he came into her life, but he also knew that he was the tremor that had widened the chasm. He would not feel completely settled until the damage had been repaired.

* * *

The bell rang above the door in the diner. "Have a seat. I'll be with you in a moment," Luke said, his back turned away from the door while he filled the coffee maker. He heard footsteps approaching the counter as he finished loading the coffee into the machine.

"Hello Luke." The voice was out of context and it startled him. He turned to face Emily.

"Mrs. Gilmore," he said, tight and formal. After a moment of hesitation, he said, "I'm surprised to see you."

"I would like to talk to you."

"What do you and I have to talk about?"

She looked at him knowingly and said, "Is there somewhere we could talk privately?"

Luke gestured around the empty diner, "Looks pretty private to me."

She started to argue and then a couple of tourists walked in and she simply nodded her head toward them.

"Fine."

He invited the couple to sit and let Caesar know that he was stepping out for a moment. Then he pointed toward the stairs and followed Emily up.

As she stepped inside, she said, "This is where you live? It's quaint."

"I didn't ask for your opinion. He gestured toward the couch and then sat down on the chair. "So talk."

"I know that you and Lorelai are back together."

"Yes," he said evenly.

"She won't talk to me."

"I'm aware of that."

"Is it because of you?"

"Excuse me?" he asked in angry disbelief.

"Are you trying to keep her away from us?"

Luke fumed at the accusation and struggled to keep calm. His reply was icy and bitter. "I thought it was the other way around." At her questioning look, he added, "I thought you were trying to keep me away from her."

Emily looked surprised at his directness. "Yes, well, I suppose I was. You must be angry with me. I know Lorelai is. All this over a silly misunderstanding."

"It wasn't silly, and it wasn't a misunderstanding. It was a deliberate attempt to hurt your daughter," he said coldly.

"I was trying to protect her."

"From me?"

"From making a mistake. From walking away from the life she could have." No matter how many times he heard it, he couldn't get used to her outright snobbery.

"You mean a life like yours? She doesn't want that life."

"She doesn't know what she wants," Emily said dismissively.

"Yes she does," his voice hard. "You just don't want to believe her."

"Do you honestly think that you can make her happy?"

"I _know _that I _do_ make her happy." Luke surprised himself with the surety of his words. The certainty he felt was new and he realized how much had changed since the last time he spoke with Emily. "Do you honestly think that she would be happy with Christopher?" He spit out the name venomously.

"She should be with the father of her child."

"You didn't answer the question."

She hesitated just enough. "Of course. He loves her and she's always cared for him."

"That's not enough for her."

"Well it should be."

He looked at her in amazement. "You're so worried about her having the "right" kind of life, you don't even care if she is happy. No wonder she doesn't think that you care about her."

"She said that?" Emily's face was white and pained.

Luke nodded once and reveled for a brief but satisfying moment at the vision of a flustered Emily, before feeling a pang of guilt at having caused the pain. "I'd like to be able to convince her otherwise. Everyone should be loved by their parents, so I don't get it. I can't imagine anyone who loved their child treating Lorelai the way that you do, but I also can't imagine anyone not being proud of her and loving her exactly the way that she is. She's the most amazing woman I've ever known."

"You don't have to tell me she's amazing," Emily retorted sharply.

Luke met her steely eyes. "Apparently I do."

"How dare you presume-"

"Look," he cut in sharply. "You only get one family in this life. When they're gone, you've lost all chance to tell them what you feel. How dare you let Lorelai go one second thinking that her mother doesn't care about her." He saw immediately how his words hurt her. Every bit of defiance and pride flowed out of her and she wilted, her face a mask of sadness, and surprisingly, fear. Watching her crumple was one of the most disturbing things he had ever seen. She took a deep breath and worked unsuccessfully to regain her composure. Luke hesitated before picking up a box of tissues and setting it on the table near her. "I need to get back to the diner. Stay as long as you need."

* * *

The next evening, Luke arrived at Lorelai's house to pick her up. He pushed open the door and called, "Lorelai, I'm here." When she didn't answer he walked into the living room and was surprised to see her sitting on the couch, an arrangement of white and yellow daffodils on the coffee table in front of her. He walked over to her and saw that her eyes were red as if she had been crying. "What's going on? Who are the flowers from?"

She didn't answer, but handed him the card. He drew in his breath as he read it.

_Lorelai,_

_I'm sorry. I'd like to talk._

_I love you,_

_Emily_

Luke finished reading the note and looked up at Lorelai. "She sent me daffodils. They're my favorite, but she always told me they were too common." Her voice broke and two tears trailed down her face. "What made her do this now? Why?"

Luke looked away guiltily, avoiding her eyes.

"Luke?" she asked, "What's going on? Do you know something about this?"

"She came to see me," he answered reluctantly.

"When?"

"Yesterday."

"Why didn't you tell me?" She sounded hurt and betrayed.

"It wasn't a pleasant conversation and I didn't know if anything would come of it."

"What did you say to her? Why would she send these? Write this note?"

"She wants you to know that she cares about you," he said gently.

She looked at him with sudden realization, "You told her what I said that night we talked? How could you tell her that? That was personal. I trusted you."

"She needed to know that she hurt you."

"That was not for you to decide. Why did you have to go get in the middle of this? I told you this was between me and my mother." Luke could not remember when she had stood up but she was now and her anger was rising. He could feel her putting up walls and pushing him away.

"I didn't ask to be in the middle of this!" he yelled. The sound of his own voice startled him and he continued more quietly, but with anguish. "She came to me. She blamed me…said that I was keeping you away from her. She didn't care what you wanted, what would make you happy." As Luke continued, Lorelai's expression softened a bit.

"What did you say to her?" she repeated.

"Only what needed to be said." She gave him a frustrated look at his vague answer and he looked down. "What I said really hurt her. I was afraid I had made everything worse…but now she is reaching out."

"But Luke…these flowers, this note, they don't really change anything."

"They're a start. Why don't you call her?"

"What? You want me to forgive her so that you don't have to feel guilty about hurting her?"

Her words stung. "I just couldn't let her talk about you…dismiss you like that."

"Why do you care so much what she says?"

"Because everyone should know that their parents love them. She does love you, you know. What I said wouldn't have hurt her if she didn't care." He stopped for a moment and looked at her, "I know that you love her, and that's why it hurts you. You don't have to forgive her all at once. Just tell her you got the flowers."

Lorelai looked at him for a long moment, her eyes pools of sadness. She turned and walked over to the phone, turning away from him as she dialed.

"Hi Mom… it's Lorelai," she said tentatively. There was a pause before she continued, "Yeah. I got the flowers. Thank you for sending them…I do like daffodils. Look Mom, there is still a lot of stuff to deal with and I need some time to think it through. I can't just forget what happened at the vow renewal…Don't apologize. I'm not ready to hear it and I don't think I'll ever understand, but just know that I appreciate the flowers, and the note. That will have to be enough for now…Goodbye Mom."

She disconnected the call and stood there staring at the phone in her hand. Luke watched her, wondering where he stood and afraid to ask. Slowly Lorelai put the phone away and turned toward him.

He couldn't read the expression on her face and didn't know what to say so stuck with something simple, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" She looked at him curiously.

"For trying to fix things."

She took that in and was quiet for a moment. "She came to you and you did what you've always done. You defended me, stood up for me…I just wish you had told me. We're in this together now."

"Are we?"

She looked up at him and nodded, "Yeah, we are."

"Good. I'm sorry about not telling you. It was just hard to see your Mom like that and to know that I had done it."

"So you really told her off?" she asked, disbelief in her voice.

"Yeah." He lowered his eyes, remembering the pain in Emily's eyes.

She looked up at him, still serious, but with a hint of a smile, "I don't suppose you got it on videotape, did you?"

_To be continued_


	7. The Game of Life

**Disclaimer:** These characters are owned by the WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and Amy Sherman-Palladino. The Game of Life is owned by Milton Bradley. 

**Author's Note:** I had the idea for this chapter before I even started writing fan fiction. I planned to eventually write this as a one-shot, but then it seemed to fit well into this story. For those board game aficionados, this story refers to the old version of the Game of Life, as opposed to the newer version available now. My family, of course, owns both versions. Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed and also to everyone in the fan fiction thread of the TWoP forums for the wonderful encouragement. I really appreciate the feedback. Of course I want to give tons of thanks to my fabulous beta, JeSouhaite. As always she seems to pick up on the things that bugged me most about my writing and make suggestions to make them better.

* * *

Lorelai came downstairs from Luke's apartment to find Luke and Rory in deep conversation. She paused a moment, enjoying the image of her two favorite people together in one place. They looked up when they heard her and she smiled. 

"Hey kid, you're here. Come sit down." Lorelai dragged Rory to a table while Luke went to get their coffee. "How was your visit to the ice queen's palace?"

"Surprisingly melty."

"Huh?"

"Well, you came up with the analogy."

"Interpret for me anyway."

"They were freakishly warm and friendly." Rory's expression turned serious, "Mom, you told me that something happened between Luke and Grandma, but whatever it was, it scared her. I've never seen her trying that hard." Lorelai was surprised by a sudden rush of emotion as Rory continued hesitantly. "Grandma asked about you. She wanted to know if you were happy."

"What did you tell her?"

"I told her that you'd never been happier, that Luke was the best thing that ever happened to you."

"Yeah, except for you."

Rory gave a small smile at that and then quietly added, "She asked about Luke too."

"What did she want to know?"

"She wanted to know what I thought of him. You know…she said that he stood up for you. She almost sounded impressed." Lorelai could only think how ironic it was that Emily respected those who put her in her place and ridiculed those polite enough to hold their tongues. Rory continued speaking, her voice soft, "Mom… what did Luke say to her?"

"He didn't tell me exactly, just that it hurt her. He felt really guilty, so I didn't push him about it. God, I wish I'd been there, though."

"She gave me this to give to you. I think that it's probably an official invitation to Friday Night Dinner, but I'm not sure. Do you think that you might be able…to come to dinner again sometime?"

"Only if she is willing to accept that Luke is part of my life."

"She will Mom, eventually."

"Well, she'll have to. He's not going anywhere."

"So…you guys are good?"

"Rory, we are more than good."

* * *

"Hello," Emily answered with her typical businesslike tone. 

"Mom…It's me, Lorelai"

Lorelai could hear her mother's voice soften, "Lorelai."

"Rory gave me your note about the dinner for my birthday. Thanks for the invitation."

"Do you think you'll be able to come?" There was an eagerness in her voice that didn't escape Lorelai's notice.

"I think so…yes."

"What about Luke?"

"I haven't asked him yet."

"May I ask why?"

"Do I need to remind you about the last time we had dinner with you? You spent the entire night talking about roadkill and diner health code violations. I'm not putting him through that again. I wanted make that clear to you before I even asked him."

"That won't happen."

"I'm just finding that a little hard to believe right now…You know mom, I love Luke… and that's not going to change. He and I being together – that's a fact."

"I'm beginning to realize that."

"Do you think that you're ever going to be able to accept him?" Lorelai cringed at the pleading tone in her voice, but then collected herself and spoke more firmly. "Not just tolerate him, but accept him?" After a brief pause, she continued, "Because Mom, that's what it's going to take."

"I just want to be sure he deserves you."

"The real question is whether or not I deserve him."

* * *

"Things seem to be going well with you and Luke." Sookie stated as she and Lorelai enjoyed their morning tea and coffee. 

"Really well. I can't believe it's only been three weeks. I mean, Luke said it was going to take time to get used to being together again, but it hasn't. I was so worried when he didn't want me to stay the night after our date, but now…"

"No worries there. Do you ever sleep alone anymore?"

"Just when Rory is here. At first it was all, 'would you like to stay over,' or 'how about I drop by the diner for some coffee later'… but now it's just the way it is."

"And you're happy."

"I'm so happy."

"And you're in love."

"I'm in love," Lorelai said a little dreamily, then caught herself and giggled.

"And you're going to get married."

"I'm going to – Sookie!"

"Got you!"

Lorelai glared at her, "Sookie, don't go freaking me out like that," but even as she said the words, Lorelai realized that the mention of marriage did not freak her out in the least. In fact, it sounded kind of nice.

Sookie just laughed and asked, "So what are your hot plans with Luke for tonight?"

"Oh, tonight is game night."

"Game night?" she asked curiously. "You mean like strip poker? I can totally picture you guys playing strip poker. Well, not picture, because I don't think I really want to picture that, but you know-"

"Sookie stop, not strip poker, although I will have to keep that in mind." She mused thoughtfully. "I'm talking about Monopoly or Scrabble, but not either one of those because it's my turn to pick.

"So seriously, who's the one freaking out about me mentioning marriage?"

* * *

"So what shall it be tonight?" 

"Luke, do you think that it's weird for us to play games?"

"Why?"

"I mentioned it to Sookie and she thought it was weird."

"Weird bad or weird good?"

"I don't know. She seemed to think that any game we would be playing would involve sex, like strip poker."

"Well now, there's an idea. We never did finish that poker game." He raised his eyebrows suggestively. She smiled but then her questioning look returned. "I don't think it's that weird. Besides, you're cute when you get competitive," he teased.

"Hey, you're competitive too."

"Me?"

"Oh yeah. You remember when we played Scrabble? You wouldn't give up on your word until we looked in three dictionaries!"

"Fine then, we're both competitive. So, which one will it be tonight?"

"The family classic - The Game of Life!"

"The Game of Life?" He looked skeptical.

"It's fun, and there's money involved, so you have an inherent advantage."

Lorelai pulled the game off the shelf and began to set it up on the coffee table. When Luke put the cars on the starting space, he asked, "Okay, so what's your person's name?"

"Oh," Lorelai paused for a moment, "We don't name the people in this game."

"What? You name everything else, including the playing pieces in every other game. And now, I'm just kicking myself for asking."

"Well, uh," Lorelai started nervously, "once when Rory was about eight, she named her pieces Lorelai and Christopher. We had a long talk that night about the fact that Chris and I were not together and not likely to be. That was the last time we named our people in this game."

Luke swallowed and said, "Okay, I'll buy that."

They started the game, and Lorelai giggled when she landed on the doctor space and Luke landed on the lawyer space. "Oh my god, you're a lawyer," she said, laughing out loud.

"That's not nearly as frightening as you being a doctor."

"Hey, you keep that up, I won't hire you to be my malpractice lawyer."

"Thank god."

They continued around the board, Lorelai squealing with delight when she got to the marriage space and spun for the maximum possible gift amount. "Ooh look, I'm married!"

"So you actually went through with it this time." Lorelai gasped with surprise at his comment and he looked horrified when he realized what he had said. "Geez Lorelai, I'm sorry."

"You're supposed to be glad I didn't get married."

"I am," he looked straight at her, "really glad, and…I'm not one to be talking anyway," he added wryly.

Lorelai shrugged and continued with her turn in silence. The talk of marriage reminded her of the conversation with Sookie, and she pondered the ramifications of the words that hung in the air between them.

Luke broke the tension by saying, "I have a question."

"Yeah?"

"I'm just curious what it was like playing this game with Rory when she was growing up."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it's so traditional – go to college, get married, buy a house, have kids."

"And not like my life?"

"Well, yeah."

"I guess it was a little weird sometimes, but I think Rory understood that our life wasn't ordinary. We found ways to put our own twist on things, though," she said with a smirk, relieved to have changed topics. He gave her a questioning look and she continued, "after Rory read Heather has Two Mommies, gay marriage was legal in the Gilmore house. We were way ahead of our time." She giggled and Luke just laughed, shaking his head in mock disbelief.

They continued playing in relative silence for a few more minutes, Lorelai's mind continuing to drift to the topic they were avoiding. She bit her lip nervously as she debated asking the question that was nagging her. "Luke, do you think you could ever imagine getting married again?" As soon as the words were out of her mouth she looked down and focused her attention intently on the hem of her jeans.

"Well, maybe if I find the right woman."

Lorelai's head jerked up to see his teasing smile. "Hey, don't do that," she said softly. "I'm serious."

"Sorry."

"Do you think…you could imagine marrying me?"

She heard his sharp intake of breath and the silence as he paused before answering, "I can't imagine marrying anyone else."

His voice was deep and the promise held in his words made Lorelai's heart jump and her stomach quiver. She looked up at him shyly and they shared a look before retreating back into their game.

As they continued around the board, Luke's car quickly filled up with children, while Lorelai somehow avoided any offspring. "Oh my god. Adopt a boy _and_ a girl. Why the hell would I adopt twins when I already have four children?"

"You know Luke, it's pretend."

"And where the hell will they sit? My car is full."

"Well, look at it this way, I have to give you 1000 for presents, so at least there's that."

"Why don't you keep the 1000 and the two kids. You don't have any. How did that happen anyway?" He held up his filled car, "There's no room for any more kids."

"Well, the instructions say to just crowd them in like you would do in real life."

"Clearly, this game came before car seat regulations."

"Now, let's see what we can do about fitting little baby Bobby and Susie in here," she said carefully propping the little pink and blue pegs in among the others.

"Thought you didn't name them."

"Oh right, I was just giving them a way to distinguish themselves from the horde."

"You know, I take back what I said earlier about this not being weird." He looked at her, asking, "What made you choose this?" before she spun the spinner to resume the game. A few turns later, he spoke up again, "A helicopter. 50,000 for a helicopter? What the hell do I need a helicopter for?"

"Well at least you get to keep the helicopter. I had to pay money to get rid of my uncle's skunk farm."

"We are so playing chess next time."

Eventually, to Luke's obvious relief, the game finished and they were counting their money.

"Well here's a benefit I wasn't expecting," Luke said. "I get 24,000 for each kid? Aren't kids supposed to cost you money?"

"Well, it's something to make up for all the pain and suffering, right?" Lorelai then pulled her car up next to his and said in a mock high voice, "So what did grumpy driver guy think of spending his life with six children? Were the jam-hands too much to take or did the kids grow on you?"

"Is that your pink peg asking my blue peg or is that you asking me?" Luke looked her in the eye and held her gaze. When she didn't immediately respond he continued, his voice low and even, "Because if you want to have this conversation, we can have this conversation, but I don't want to pretend to have it."

Lorelai swallowed and looked down, "Okay." She felt her stomach tighten. Didn't he know it was safer to keep things like this in the pretend realm, at least for now?

"Do you want to talk about it?" His voice was gentle and when she looked up she saw that his expression had softened.

"I think so," suddenly feeling very overwhelmed. "So…what did you think about having a carful of kids?" She honestly didn't know what she hoped his answer would be.

"Well, six is certainly more kids than I would ever want." She let out a breath and wondered why she felt so relieved. He stopped and looked at her shyly, "but I think one or two might be nice."

Lorelai digested this slowly, rolling the idea around in her head. She had been so sure that he was not interested in having children, that his statement completely unsettled her. She tried very hard to understand the nervousness that she was feeling.

She realized that he was waiting for her to respond when he asked, "Would you ever want to have another kid?" His smile was hopeful but tentative.

"I don't know, Luke." She answered softly, panic beginning to set in. "At times I have. It was a part of that whole package, but now…I don't know. Rory is twenty years old. Think about that…twenty years. I'm afraid I'm too old."

"You're not too old."

"But I am, and it's all harder when you're older and there are more risks."

"But you are healthy. You are a freak of nature kind of healthy."

"I just…what if something happened? I'd be so afraid to get excited, knowing the risks of being disappointed.

"But don't all the good things outweigh the risks? Think about Rory."

"I know…she's amazing. It would be tempting fate to hope to get that lucky again."

"Are you sure that you're not just running from it, letting fear dictate what you want?"

Anger surged through her at the accusation and she desperately wanted to end the conversation, "I'm just not sure I could do it." Her voice was a little desperate, trying to get him to understand her fear.

"So that's how you feel?" he asked slowly.

She could only nod, momentarily unable to breathe, but then in a strained voice said, "It's not how you feel."

"I'm just a little surprised that you feel the way you do, but…It's not a decision you can make for someone else." Their words had been carefully chosen to be hypothetical, but it was obvious that both of them knew what was going on was very real. He looked at her for a long moment, his eyes unreadable, "You know…I love you, no matter what."

"I love you too." In that moment, Lorelai knew that Luke was willing to give up something precious, something he had wanted more than he realized and that he would give it up for her. She suddenly felt the full force of his love and it hit her like a physical blow.

She sat there, stunned for a moment before he put his arm around her and said, "Hey, it's late. Let me take you to bed." His voice was light and he kissed her gently on the temple. She heard his voice and felt his reassuring touch and tried to tell herself that everything was okay. But if everything was fine, why was she afraid to look into his eyes?

* * *

What felt like hours later, Lorelai lay awake, restless, aware of a new distance between them. Luke hid his disappointment with a mask of love and concern for her, but the mask only highlighted what had changed. She watched him sleep for a few moments, startled once again at the rush of emotion that she felt looking at him. 

She slipped out of bed and into her robe before quietly padding downstairs to the living room. When he came looking for her almost an hour later, she was most of the way through the second of Rory's childhood photo albums .

"Hey, what're you doing?" He sat down beside her and took her hand. She heard a sharp intake of breath when he realized she had been holding his car full of pink and blue pegs. "Lorelai, what's going on?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Why?"

"What we talked about before. It scared me."

"I know, but it's okay. I'm not expecting…I would never ask that of you."

"But that's it. That's what scares me."

"I don't understand."

"You're willing to give up something huge…something really important, for me. That's scary. I don't want to have that kind of power over you. I can't handle it."

"Lorelai, it's not about power. It's about…I don't know, life decisions."

"But it is. You would make a choice to give something up because I don't want it, because you love me. That's terrifying, for you to love me so much that you would do that, that you would let yourself be hurt rather than do something you think would hurt me."

"It's okay."

"It's not okay," she said fiercely. "Don't lie to me, not about something this important."

"I'm not."

"But Luke, you are. I can see your disappointment. You're trying to hide it, but I can tell. You would regret it." He shook his head, but she continued, "No, you would, sooner or later, and I couldn't live with that. That's why I'm not going to let you…give this up."

"No," he pleaded, "It's too much. You can't just change your mind because of me."

"But you can?"

"It's not the same thing."

"I think it is the same thing, but it doesn't matter. You were right before," She glanced up at him then and saw a confused look, "about letting fear dictate my actions."

"Lorelai, stop-"

"No, listen to me. I've had some time to think while I've been looking at these pictures and I don't know what it is. Maybe I was freaked out because I didn't expect you to want kids, but I was looking at these pictures and realizing what I'd missed so much all those years of raising Rory."

"What was that?"

"A partner, a dad. And here I am, with you, and I think you want that same thing. Not only that, but you would be a wonderful Dad." She reached her hand up to his cheek and he smiled. "That's what I always wanted while Rory was growing up: the whole package. I realized tonight that I was willing to give all that up because I was afraid I would be disappointed. I don't think I want to anymore."

"Nothing has to be decided now."

"I know, but what happened earlier felt like a decision, and I could feel what it did to you and how you were trying to protect me from that. I don't want you to protect me like that anymore. If there are hard decisions to be made, let us deal with the consequences. Please don't hide your feelings from me."

"I'll try, but…it's hard for me."

"I know that. I'm not great at it either, but if we're going to be together we need to be able to tell each other things." He pulled her close and she snuggled into his shoulder. "You know what?"

"What?"

"Everything just got a whole lot less hypothetical."

"Yeah it did…Lorelai?"

"Yeah?"

"What made this come up now?"

"It was something Sookie said when we were talking this morning. She mentioned marriage…"

"Is that why you chose that game?"

"No, I just like it," she turned to look at him and he rolled his eyes, "but playing it brought up all those thoughts. Hey, I just realized something?"

"What?"

"We never figured out who won."

* * *

In the days following their talk, Lorelai felt a new certainty that went beyond the promise of permanence with Luke. Now she not only knew that they would have a 'middle,' she could picture it. She saw Luke with she and Rory, sitting around a Christmas tree, opening gifts. She could imagine Luke fussing over her diet while she was pregnant and marveling at the tiny perfect features of a newborn. She saw him playing catch and baking birthday cakes. She had visions of him patiently teaching all the things he knew – cooking, woodworking, and fishing - to beautiful children. In every case the Luke she saw was smiling and content and it surprised her how naturally this future Luke seemed to fit into the role of a father. She chided herself for never seriously considering the possibility that he would want children. 

Strangely, as her certainty about Luke grew, so did an unusual edginess that she couldn't explain. There was a constant sense that she was about to miss something. She woke earlier, arrived first to meetings and prepared for events at the inn that were weeks away. It was difficult to sit still and relax, so in the quiet evenings that Luke worked late she cleaned closets, sorted clothing and filed months worth of papers and bills.

If Luke noticed her strange behavior, he didn't say anything. After about a week, Sookie cornered Lorelai in the kitchen of the inn. "What's going on?"

"Well I'm working on the plans for the Rittenboch's rehearsal dinner and then there's that tea for the Society to Preserve Connecticut Wallflowers, no Wildflowers, yeah that's it."

"Lorelai, stop! This is what I'm talking about. You're in overdrive."

"I'm just doing my job."

"No, you're doing your job plus about 3 or 4 other people's jobs. If you keep it up, employees are going to start quitting out of sheer boredom. I don't get it. You're acting just like last summer, only without the scary Emily personality."

"I don't understand the problem with being productive."

"You're not yourself."

"You're crazy. It must be the pregnancy talking."

"You've been in before breakfast every day and early for every meeting this week."

"And that's so unusual?"

"Do you really have to ask that?" Sookie asked with a knowing look as Lorelai sighed and leaned back against the counter. "What's going on? Is everything okay with Luke?"

"Yeah, we're good. Really good."

"But?"

"No but. Everything's good. What makes you think this has anything to do with Luke?

"He asked about you. He's concerned too."

"Why didn't he say anything to me?"

"He might be freaked out by your organized closets and sparkling house." Lorelai glared at Sookie for a moment, then let out a breath as she realized the full extent of her recent behavior. "Did something happen between you two recently?"

"No…well we did have that talk last week, the night we played Life."

"Wait a second, you played Life?"

"Yeah."

"Isn't that the game where you get married, buy a house, have kids and drive around a little car with pink and blue pegs in it? She looked up to see Lorelai nodding, with a slight smile on her face, "I'm trying really hard to picture Luke doing that and I'm coming up blank. How did you convince him to play that game? Is there a dirty version that I don't know about? Ooh, very disturbing visual image just then."

"Sookie!"

"Oh okay, images erased."

"Good, keep them that way. If you ever tell Luke-"

"That you told me about the dirty Life game?"

"It wasn't dirty. We just played it, and talked."

"So what did you talk about?"

Lorelai looked up at Sookie before glancing down and saying quietly, "Marriage…and kids."

"Oh my god, oh my god! This makes so much sense now. You're scared and you're freaking out. Lorelai, just because you are talking about it doesn't mean it has to happen now. It just means that eventually, when you are both ready-"

"But that's it, Sookie. I don't want it eventually, I want it now. I'm impatient to get started on our middle."

"Lorelai, does that mean…?"

"Is this crazy? We've only been back together for a month."

"You want to get married!" Sookie's eyes were wide and excited and she shrieked with delight.

"Umm…Yeah, I think so."

"Oh my god. I've got to start planning the menu, the cake, will the wedding be here...?"

"Down girl. I don't think we are there yet."

"You sound like you are there."

"But I'm not sure about Luke. Oh my god, Luke! He's going to think I'm freaking out about the marriage and kids stuff. He's going to think I don't want it, so he'll never ask."

"Well, if you're really worried about that, you could ask."

"What? No! What if he isn't ready? What if he says no?"

"Did you seriously just ask that question? We're talking about Luke here, right? Luke, who has been in love with you for eight years? He would _not_ say no."

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean he's ready. I just wish I knew if he was ready."

_To be continued._


	8. Birthday

**Disclaimer:** These characters are owned by the WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and Amy Sherman-Palladino.

**Author's Note:** Continued thanks to everyone who has been keeping up with this story and especially those who have reviewed. I really appreciate the feedback. Thanks for the amazing encouragement from everyone in the fan fiction thread of the TWoP forum. Last but certainly not least, thank you to JeSouhaite for beta-reading this fic and giving me such wonderful and helpful feedback as well as unflagging support.

* * *

In the days following their talk of marriage and kids, Luke watched Lorelai carefully for signs that she was afraid of this new place in their relationship. It would not have been surprising for her to pull back. This was new territory, for both of them. He noticed, but didn't understand what it meant when she suddenly became a superhuman version of herself. She was always full of energy and life and it was one of the things he loved most about her, but there was a frenzy about her that was new. She stopped by the diner often, but her visits were short stops in between long hours at the inn. No longer did she just relax and drink her coffee or linger over a piece of pie. On nights when he went to her house after a long evening at the diner, he found her deep in the middle of a cleaning project rather than deep in a movie. When he mentioned it to Lorelai, she brushed it off, "Must be the spring air inspiring me to be productive. I'm sure it will pass soon enough." It did seem to, at least a bit, but where the frenzy had been there was still a restlessness that worried him. All he could do was watch and wonder and hope that this wasn't a warning sign of a deeper problem.

* * *

Lorelai lay across Luke's couch with her head resting in his lap as they watched an old movie on television. They had picked up the movie in the middle and Luke was having trouble following it, but he was so relieved that Lorelai was finally sitting still that he didn't mind. He unconsciously reached out to pull a lock of hair away from her face and was surprised to hear her voice.

"So… I need to tell you something," she said hesitantly.

"What?" he asked, wondering at her serious tone.

"My mom invited us to dinner."

"What? When?"

"Two weeks from Friday. To celebrate my birthday." She paused a moment, then sat up and turned toward him. "I told her I'd go."

"When did you talk to her?"

"Last week."

"Why didn't you say something earlier?" It hurt to think that she was still hiding things from him.

"I wanted to talk to her first and think about it."

"Why?"

"I wanted to make sure that they were going to treat you decently and…I wasn't sure you would want to go."

"Well, your mother and I didn't have the most pleasant conversation the last time I saw her."

"You mean because you finally told her to shove it?" she asked, with a hint of a smile.

He cringed, "Lorelai, I hurt her. I'm not sure I can even face her right now."

"Well, hard as it may be to believe, that may have been the best thing you could have done."

"What?"

"My mother has this weird habit of respecting people who tell her off. Apparently, she was impressed that you stood up for me." When he looked up at her curiously she continued, "That's what Rory said."

"Your family makes absolutely no sense," he said, shaking his head grumpily.

She smiled at that, "You're finally catching on."

"Would you like me to go to the dinner with you?"

Lorelai looked at him thoughtfully, as if weighing her words. "I'd like you to be there," she said slowly, "but only if you're comfortable. She did promise to be on her best behavior, but I don't really trust her, so I totally understand if you don't want to go."

"I'm not as worried about what she does as I am about the way I talked to her."

"And this is what makes you so amazing," she said in awe.

"Huh?"

"My mother has bullied you, ridiculed you and tried to get rid of you and yet you feel bad because you finally had a chance to tell her off and you took it."

"You didn't see her, Lorelai. She's your mother and I made her cry." The image of Lorelai's strong and resilient mother in tears was not easy to forget. He worried about her reaction when she saw him next.

"But apparently, while you were making her cry, you were standing up for me, so it's all good." She said this part with a joking tone, but then got more serious, "So, what should I tell my mom? It's really okay if you don't want to go. I'm sure that there will be other obligatory opportunities in the future, so …"

"But you're going, and it's your birthday?" She nodded and he thought for a moment before saying, "Okay, I'll go."

"Thank you. It means a lot to me that you'll be there. It's going to be really hard to do this."

"Well, much as I'm not looking forward to seeing your mother again, I'm glad that we're going. She's still your mother."

Lorelai put her hands on either side of his face and looked into his eyes. "I love that that's important to you," she said softly as she leaned in for a gentle kiss.

* * *

The bell jingled over the diner door as Rory entered. "Hey Luke."

"Hi Rory. So you managed to get out of Friday night dinner a little early, huh?"

"I told them that you and I needed to plan Mom's birthday."

"And they let you leave early for that?"

"Well, they were pretty happy to find out that both of you are coming to dinner for Mom's birthday, so I guess they were feeling generous. Grandma asked what we were planning. I told her we weren't quite sure yet, but probably a party." Rory's voice softened as she continued, "She made a point of telling me that they didn't expect to be invited. That it would just make Mom uncomfortable and that it was enough that you were coming to dinner."

"She said that?"

"Yeah, but she may have just been trying to keep Grandpa away from Miss Patty."

Luke chuckled at that. "So, a party huh?"

"It doesn't have to be a party."

"For your mother, I actually think it does."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Should I check to see if we can use Miss Patty's place?"

"How about if we did it here?" he offered tentatively.

"In the diner?"

"Yeah."

"But you'd have to close."

"Everyone would be at the party anyway, right?"

"I guess so," Rory said as she surveyed the room.

He watched her look around and asked, "Do you think it will be big enough? We could move some of the tables and chairs to the storeroom. Maybe Lane could DJ? What?" He stopped when he saw the look of surprise on her face.

"I can't believe you're willing to close the diner and move everything around."

"Do you think we shouldn't have it here?"

"No, I think it's perfect. Then it's not just a town thing."

"That's what I was thinking. It'll be our thing." He marveled at how natural it felt to be working on this with Rory.

"Exactly." She stopped for a moment and looked Luke in the eye, "You know, it'll mean a lot to her that you're doing this. She'll love it."

"Good," He smiled at her, then continued, "Let's figure out the rest of the details."

"Well, Sookie offered to help and I know she wants to make a cake," she glanced up at Luke, "if that's okay?"

"Yeah that's great. I can talk to her to figure out the food. I'll be able to get a lot of cooking done during the day if you two wanted to do something together."

"That would be nice, but I don't want you to get stuck doing all the work."

"Actually, I had an idea about that." He looked up at her, suddenly feeling unsure about what he was going to offer. "Why don't the two of you go get manicures, pedicures, whatever else women do at spas. My treat."

"Oh Luke, you don't have to do that. It's too much."

He shrugged. "You and your mom haven't had a chance to hang out much lately, and it's her birthday. Let me do this, unless you don't think it's a good idea," he said nervousness creeping back into his voice.

"It's a great idea. She'll love it. But wait…how does this help you?"

"I'd like to make dinner for her…for the two of us. Do you think you could get the diner set up for the party while we're eating?"

"Yeah, no problem." He watched her as she slowly looked around the diner again. "Hey Luke, can I decorate?"

"As long as its not too fruity – and no pink or blue," he added quickly at the end.

"Got it - no fruity - no pink or blue. So, what was that about getting Lane to DJ?"

"Do you think she would?"

"Of course, but you know if there's music, then dancing is expected."

"Yeah."

"And she's going to want to dance with you."

"I figured."

"You think you can suffer though that?"

"I'll manage. Birthdays only happen once a year, right?"

"Yeah, and I have it on pretty good authority that _you_ can waltz! She was pretty impressed after your sister's wedding last year."

"Really? She told you that?"

"That's when she first told me that there might be something going on with you two."

"So she did know…" he mused as his voice trailed off. He saw Rory looking at him thoughtfully. He looked down at the counter, wishing for a moment that he had a rag – something to do with his hands. "So Rory…your mom and I…are you okay with that?"

"Of course I am Luke. Why do you ask?"

"I just…I'm planning to be around for awhile."

The corners of her mouth turned up then, "I know." Her surety surprised him and it must have showed. "That's what my mom said too."

"Really?"

"She said you weren't going anywhere."

"I'm not."

It looked like Rory was struggling to try to keep from breaking into a wide grin. "So, any plans to make it official?"

He jerked his head up to look at her, taken aback by her directness. She held his gaze, her eyebrows raised and a small smile playing over her lips. "Uh…well, yeah…at some point."

"Okay…good."

"Good?"

"Yes, Luke…really good," she said sincerely, then as if she realized what had just transpired, she looked down shyly. It wasn't until his heart started to slow down that Luke registered how hard it had been beating. Rory broke the silence, "Is there anything else we need to do to plan the party?"

"I think the party's all set, but there is one more thing I wanted to ask you. I'm making something for your mom and I was wondering if you had any pictures of the inn, either during the renovation or after it opened. I have a couple that Rachel took before they bought it, but I'd love a few more, especially if there is a picture of it in the snow."

"Yeah, I'll look. If I can't find something, I'll ask Sookie. What are you making?"

"You'll see in a couple of weeks."

"A surprise, huh?"

"Yeah," he smiled nervously, "I hope she likes it."

* * *

Luke arrived at the house to pick Lorelai up for their drive to Hartford. Uneasiness seemed to be following him, though he consciously pushed it away. He walked into the house, calling her name as he entered, expecting her to come tripping down the stairs while pulling on a shoe. He was surprised to see her seated on the couch, wearing her coat and holding her purse. She looked over at him as he entered, but didn't get up.

"Hey, you're here," she said, her voice flat.

"Yeah, you okay?" He moved behind her and put his hands on her shoulders, then leaned over and kissed the top of her head. When she didn't move or respond, he moved around to the other side of the couch and sat next to her, taking her hands in his. "Tell me what's going on."

"Oh, it's nothing. We should go."

She started to stand but he held her hands and repeated, "What's going on?"

"Luke," she started to protest, but he held her gaze and her resolve melted. "I'm afraid of letting them back in."

"Your parents?"

She nodded, then spoke softly, "For so long we just saw each other at holidays. They got to see Rory. We exchanged pleasantries. It was safe. The less I told them about my life the less they had to be disappointed about and we got along fine. Going to them for the money for Chilton – that was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I had to open the door a little. Not too much, I mean the chain was still on, but they could see in." She looked up at him then, as if checking that he understood. He nodded and she continued.

"We went on like that for a while. Eventually, I took off the chain and opened the door a little more and sometimes it opened a little wider and sometimes I closed it again, but not usually for very long. But it's been almost five years and the door's opened wider, never totally open, but I was feeling more comfortable with it. God, I mean between my mother's crazy bachelorette party and talking to her before the vow renewal ceremony, it almost felt like…never mind. Then what happened with Christopher at the vow renewal reminded me about why I had been so careful, why I had kept the door shut so long and why I was so careful when I finally did open it again. I just…I don't trust them…her, anymore. I'm not sure how I'm ever going to be able to trust her again."

He looked at her while she spoke, his heart breaking at her words. He could hear the pain and fear in her voice and it cut through him deeply. Then he heard something else, a wistfulness perhaps. He held her hands gently, circling his thumbs around the backs before putting them together and holding his hands over hers. He felt a lump forming in his throat as her voice broke a bit on the final words. When she finished speaking, he looked up at her and said, "but you want to."

"What?"

"The reason it hurts you so much is that you want to trust her, but you can't."

"I don't want to let her hurt me again."

"I don't either." Taking both of her hands in one of his, he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear before putting his palm against her cheek. "I can't promise you that she won't ever hurt you again, but I know she loves you."

"I think I know that now too, thanks to you, but somehow that's not much of a comfort."

"I wish I could do something to make this better, but all I can do is promise you that I will be here for you."

She looked at him then, her eyes wide and serious. "You are too good to me."

"Don't let it get around. I don't want to lose my mystique." He smiled at her and earned a giggle. "Are you ready?" he said more gently.

"Yeah…hey Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for coming. I know that it's not going to be a piece of cake for you either, so…well, I appreciate it."

"I know. Let's go."

Lorelai was quiet and pensive on the drive to Hartford, only speaking once to ask the time. "Damn, we're going to be late. Just one more piece of ammunition for her majesty."

They did in fact arrive about ten minutes late, but Emily surprised them by saying, "You must have hit some traffic. Come on in and have a drink. We're glad that both of you could come." At the last she looked at Luke with what looked like a forced smile. He noticed her glancing at his sweater and slacks and was glad that he had taken more care in dressing than he had the last time he had visited this house.

When they went into the living room, Rory jumped up and ran over to give her mother a hug, "Happy Early Birthday."

"You brought your stuff, right, so you can come back and stay tonight?" Lorelai confirmed eagerly.

"Yeah, I can't wait for tomorrow." Her eyes glinted with the surprise she was holding back.

Lorelai smiled then, a genuine smile, and Luke started to relax. Rory gave him a quick hug and peck on the cheek before pulling them both toward the couch.

Richard looked up as they sat down, "Lorelai, Luke, it's good to see you both," he said politely, "What can I get you to drink?"

"I'll take a martini, Dad," Lorelai answered, then glanced at Luke, who nodded, and she added, "Make that two."

After everyone had their drinks, they all sat making polite small talk, which was thankfully centered around Rory and her spring semester at Yale. While carefully avoiding meeting Emily's eyes, Luke silently watched she and Lorelai, both of whom looked tense and nervous. Eventually the conversation drifted to the inn. As Lorelai became the center of attention, she reached over with her right hand and laced her fingers through Luke's left hand. He rubbed his thumb gently over the back of her hand, then gave it an encouraging squeeze. He felt a sudden pang of self-consciousness and looked up to find Emily watching him with an unreadable expression.

Lorelai answered questions about the inn and gradually appeared to grow more comfortable. She proudly shared their high occupancy rates and news about some of the publicity they were getting. Richard asked a few questions about their financial status and looked pleased with her success.

"We just met with our accountant last week and she thinks we may be able to start serving lunch again, at least during the busiest times of the tourist season. We had to cut out lunch about six months ago, but things seem to be looking up. Sookie is thrilled."

Emily nodded in what looked like approval and then turned to Luke, "And how is business at your diner?" Though her tone was polite, she couldn't hide the touch of distaste when she said the word 'diner.'

He was wary of the direct question and tempted to answer as briefly as possible, but decided to make more of an effort. "It's good. Business usually picks up some during this time of year and stays busy into the fall, since there are more tourists, but there's a pretty consistent breakfast and lunch crowd throughout the year."

Lorelai glanced at him and smiled, as if recognizing his effort, then turned to her father. "Dad, I actually had an insurance question for you."

"Certainly, Lorelai."

"Well, I thought I had a pretty good health insurance deal worked out with our insurance company, but they just raised our rates and I was wondering if you have any suggestions. We want to offer competitive benefits, but it's getting harder to afford it."

Both Richard and Emily looked surprised by her question, but Richard answered quickly, "Well, I think there are groups of small businesses that are able to negotiate better rates together than you can get independently. I could look into it for you."

"That would be great."

"I'll make some calls and let you know what I find out early next week."

"Thank you, Dad."

"What about you Luke, do you offer health insurance to your employees?"

Luke was startled by the sudden inclusion in the conversation, "Uh…yes, though it is getting pretty expensive."

"Well, if I find out anything useful for Lorelai, I'll be sure to pass the information along to you as well."

"Thank you. I would appreciate that."

The maid came to let them know that dinner was served and they continued their very polite and very careful conversation over dinner. As they ate, Luke thought about the stilted conversation and tried to figure out what Richard and Emily were thinking.

He was having trouble reading Richard. He wasn't as condescending as he had been during the golf outing, and though the insurance conversation had been friendly, it still wasn't warm. Perhaps wary was the best word to describe the way Richard was looking at him now.

Emily was more complicated. There had been several times that he thought he had seen her start to speak and then stop, as if she were censoring her speech. She was clearly making an effort to avoid insults, but there was something else. Emily was looking at him differently now. There was no longer disdain, but there definitely wasn't acceptance either. He sensed a bit of respect, but it was the respect you gave an adversary. He guessed it was to be expected, given their previous conversation, but it wasn't the type of relationship you hoped for with potential in-laws.

That thought took him by surprise, and yet at the same time it didn't. He had known that the possibility of a future existed with Lorelai, but somehow recently, possibility had turned into probability and 'maybe someday' had turned into 'at some point.' That thought made him glance at Lorelai and give her a private smile. She reached over and gave his knee a squeeze, which for some reason gave him a renewed sense of confidence. It struck him then that perhaps the difference he was feeling wasn't as much a change in Lorelai's parents as it was a change in him. Being with her parents had always made him feel inadequate, because there was a part of him that thought they were right and that at some point she would see what they saw and no longer want him. He knew differently now and something told him that Emily and Richard knew now what he had not known then.

The rest of dinner passed pleasantly enough. After dessert, they moved back into the living room. Richard offered scotch and Luke accepted, while Emily handed a wrapped present to Lorelai. After looking up at her mother, she looked down and played with the ribbon for a moment, before opening the package cautiously. Luke watched as she lifted the lid and revealed a pair of round sapphire drop earrings in a white gold setting and a necklace with a matching pendant. Lorelai looked at them, opening her mouth in surprise, then lifting her head to look at her mother. "Mom! They're beautiful, but this is too much."

"Nonsense, it's your birthday. They'll look beautiful on you. Please don't argue about it."

Lorelai paused and the room was silent, waiting for her response. "You're right. Thank you, Mom."

A few minutes later, Luke saw Richard pull Lorelai aside and they talked briefly before he handed her an envelope. Lorelai bit her lip nervously at the start of their conversation, but as they spoke she relaxed and her expression softened.

After polite goodbyes with friendly but slightly awkward hugs for Lorelai and Rory and a handshake for Luke, they all left and headed for their cars. Rory thanked them for coming before climbing into her car and agreeing to meet Lorelai at home. Luke wrapped his arm around her shoulders and asked, "So, how are you doing?"

"I'm not sure. Who kidnapped my parents and replaced them with those strangely polite people? It was almost freaky enough to make me miss the humiliation and disappointment." He gave her a skeptical glance. "Well, almost."

"They were trying."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Hey, I noticed you talking to your Dad and you were actually smiling."

She chuckled. "He was giving me the classic Richard Gilmore gift."

"What's that?"

"A check."

"Oh, that."

"He thanked me for coming…"

"Yeah?"

"He said it meant a lot to Mom that I came. That she…that they missed me." Her voice grew softer as she spoke. "He wanted to know if I would come again next week."

"And?"

"I told him I wasn't quite ready to go back to the weekly dinner thing yet, that it was going to take more time, but I appreciated them inviting both of us for my birthday." Then she looked up at Luke. "He said it was good to see you again."

"Really?"

When she responded, her voice was soft and sad, "Yeah, well, I can't decide if I believe him or not." Her words revealed how long a road it would be for Lorelai's parents to earn back her trust.

* * *

The next night, Luke opened his door at the knock and found Lorelai standing there in a deep blue dress, wearing the new earrings and necklace from her mother and fidgeting nervously with her purse.

"Hey."

"Hey…Happy Birthday." He pulled her in for a kiss, then leaned back to meet her eyes. "You look beautiful." He reached out and touched one of the earrings, then brushed his hand down to the sparkling pendant hanging from her neck. "I like these. They match your eyes."

"Rory talked me into wearing them." She looked up at him shyly, "I wanted to wear the ones you gave me."

"You wear those all the time."

"There's a reason for that," she answered with a smile.

"So, did you and Rory have a good time?"

Her face lit up. "We had the best time! It was amazing. Was that really your idea?"

"Yeah."

"I am suitably impressed."

"I thought that you would enjoy spending some girl time with Rory. Besides, it gave me time to get this ready."

"It smells great and I'm starving."

"Is there ever a time when you aren't starving?"

"Well no, not really. Hey," she said, looking at the table, "you've got ambiance and everything. Check out the candles and the jazz. You're really going all out, aren't you?"

"For you – anything."

"You did not just say that." She paused, looking at him curiously. "Where did this sweet romantic Luke come from?"

"I let him out on special occasions," he said, his voice low and serious. She watched him quietly as he poured a glass of wine and handed it to her. She drank a couple of sips and tapped on her glass nervously while pacing the room. Luke was puzzled by what he recognized as tension or possibly anxiety. He walked over and rubbed his hands up and down her arms and whispered in her ear, "Are you okay? You seem…like nervous or something."

"Maybe a little."

"Why? It's just dinner."

"I know. I guess we just don't do this romantic dinner thing very often. I'm not used to it."

"Maybe we'll have to change that."

"No objections here," she said with a small smile.

Once they started to eat, Lorelai relaxed and told Luke about the day at the spa. Soon they were engaged in their typical banter punctuated periodically with warm smiles.

"So where did you get those tiny little chickens?"

"They were Cornish game hens."

"They were so cute."

"Yes, especially when yours stood up and did a comedy act."

"It's so rare that I have an entire animal on my plate. It was just begging to perform."

"Actually, I think that it was begging to be spared the humiliation."

"Aww, you're just jealous because yours didn't make it through the first audition."

He shook his head in mock frustration and then looked at her warmly, "How was dinner?"

"It was amazing, Luke. Thank you so much for cooking for me."

"Because that's so out of the ordinary."

"No, it was great really. This has been an amazing birthday."

"Well, there is a little more."

"Really? Oooh! Is it dessert?"

"Yeah, but I was running out of room up here, so it's downstairs. Do you want to come with me to get some coffee?"

"Do you really need to ask?" she giggled as she followed him out the door and down the stairs.

As they walked into the diner, they were greeted by a loud "Surprise!" and Luke looked in amazement around the diner. In the short time they had been upstairs, much of the furniture had been moved out of the way and the diner had been decorated with ribbons, streamers and banners in various shades of purple. The counter was filled with food and there was an enormous cake in the center. Most of the town was piled into the diner.

Lorelai's eyes were wide with shock. Rory ran over, "Happy Birthday, Mom!"

"Oh my god! I can't believe I fell for that quiet dinner thing. You guys planned this?" Luke and Rory glanced at each other and nodded. "I had no idea. How did you set this up so quietly?"

"I threatened to withhold cake," Rory grinned

"Well, it worked…This is amazing. Thank you," she said, looking warmly at both Luke and Rory.

"All this cleared out space…It almost looks like a dance floor," she said, smirking at Luke, "Does that mean you're going to dance with me?"

"You might be able to drag me out there a few times, especially if Lane plays something slow."

"We'll make sure of that," said Rory.

Before too long, Lorelai had been pulled onto the dance floor. After several songs, she pleaded for a break and some cake. Eventually she was pressed to open her gifts. Luke stood by and watched her open a strange variety of mostly useless gifts. There were some books and movies, a Hello Kitty watch, as well as a gift certificate for organic lawn maintenance from Kirk. Patty and Babette gave her their gift with a wink and a look that made Luke uneasy. As she pulled lacy lingerie out of the box, she turned and looked at him, giggling. "So, what do you think?" she asked, holding it up. He could feel himself blushing deeply.

Miss Patty glanced at him and said, "Maybe that was more of a gift for both of you."

"Aww jeez, come on. Rory's right there," he gestured in her general direction, though his eyes were glued to the floor.

"Oh, he's shy. It's probably a good idea that we decided to pass on the edible underwear."

Luke groaned and even Lorelai seemed flustered. "Patty! Babette!" Her face had reddened and she was looking at the floor as well.

"Oh come on now doll, we all know you aren't just playing Scrabble every night. We just want to help you keep it interesting," Babette said teasingly.

"Well actually, we've played our share of Scrabble," Lorelai threw in, in an obvious attempt to change the subject. "In fact, Luke is just as competitive as you, Rory, looking in every dictionary in the house before he gives up on his word. Oh…you two should play sometime. That would be a riot, watching the two of you try to out-serious each other-"

She broke off as Luke placed his hands on her shoulders and leaned down to whisper, "I think you have successfully changed the subject. Thank you, by the way." She looked up at him and then narrowed her eyes at Patty and Babette before picking up another package.

She had made her way through the pile of presents, thanked everyone and started to get up when Luke stopped her. "Wait. There's one more…from me." He said softly.

"But Luke, you already did the whole amazing spa thing."

"Well, there's one more thing anyway." He went into the back and brought out a large rectangular package wrapped in brown paper. "Here you go."

"Wow, Luke what is it?"

"A question that will be answered by the simple process of unwrapping it," he answered sarcastically.

She pulled off the paper, glancing at him expectantly as he watched her intently. The wrapping came off to reveal a large ornate wooden picture frame. In the center was a large picture of the Dragonfly taken after the first snowfall. Surrounding it were several smaller pictures of the inn in various stages of construction and a picture from the test run. On the top edge of the frame, _The Dragonfly,_ was carved into the wood and on the bottom of the frame it said _A Dream Come True_. Luke worked his jaw nervously as he waited for her reaction.

"Luke…it's beautiful." Her voice was full of emotion as she looked at him with amazement. "It's perfect for the sitting room at the inn. I love it!"

He let out a breath of relief and gave a small smile as she turned around and hugged him. Rory walked over to look at the pictures, "This is what you needed the pictures for? It's gorgeous."

Several people came to admire the picture while Lane started up some more music. Rory dragged Lorelai off to dance and Luke was relieved to no longer be the center of attention. He stood and watched as she danced, looking at the light in her eyes and the smile on her lips. She caught him watching and smiled wider. At the end of the song, she came over to him and hugged him, whispering, "Thank you for all of this, the spa, dinner, the party, the picture."

"Are you having a good time?"

"The best."

"Then get back out there. You're fans are waiting."

"But you're just standing here alone."

"I'm watching you. I like seeing you happy." She smiled at him warmly.

"You're amazing, truly amazing. What did I do to deserve you?"

"You exist."

She looked at him then, her eyes wide and liquid, "I love you." Then she kissed him deeply. When she pulled away she teased, "Can we go upstairs later so I can model my new lingerie for you?"

"Come on, don't say stuff like that when Rory is in the same room."

"Aww, it's sweet that you care about that," Lorelai said, "but she's way over there. So what do you think?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

"I figured that you were going home, since Rory is here."

"Funny you should say that. Rory asked if I minded staying here tonight so that she and Lane could have a slumber party." He looked at her skeptically. "Hey, I wasn't going to argue."

"I know, but isn't it a little weird having her do that for us?"

"Maybe, but I'm going to try to ignore that part and just focus on the fact that I don't have to sleep alone on my birthday." She grinned then kissed him again before he sent her back to her party.

Lane made sure to play a few slow songs, and even a waltz, and Luke was pulled onto the dance floor for every one. He spent the remainder of the night watching Lorelai, marveling at his good fortune.

_To be continued_


	9. Anniversary

**Disclaimer:** These characters are owned by the WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and Amy Sherman-Palladino.

**Author's Note:** Thank you to my fabulous beta JeSouhaite. This story truly would not have been the same without her feedback and input.

* * *

"Sooo…how was your romantic birthday dinner with Luke?" Sookie teased. 

"Really nice. He had candles and soft music and he made me this wonderful dinner…but it was a little weird too."

"Why?"

"That whole romantic dinner thing – it's not Luke. It made me think that there was a reason he was doing it."

"Huh?"

"Sookie," Lorelai's voice grew soft. "I thought he was going to propose."

"Oh." Her eyes widened.

"I mean, romantic dinner for two, on my birthday. If he were planning on doing it anytime soon, that would have been the time, right?"

"Maybe, maybe not."

"I was so nervous when I first got there that even he noticed it."

"And now you're disappointed."

"No, it was really nice," she paused at Sookie's skeptical look, "Okay, maybe a little."

"If you really feel that way, you should ask him."

"Ask him what?" Lorelai asked, confused.

"To marry you, silly! Why don't _you_ propose?"

"But if he wanted to get married he would have asked me."

"Lorelai, this is Luke we're talking about – it took him eight years to ask you out," Sookie looked at her and Lorelai sighed, "and it wasn't because he didn't want to."

Lorelai was looking at her feet. She tilted her head sideways to glance at Sookie. "Yeah, I guess." She looked down again briefly before saying, "Wow…do you really think this is a good idea?"

"Are you ready to get married?"

"I am. I really am."

"Then yes, it's a great idea."

Lorelai's face lit up in a wide smile, "Oh my god. I'm really going to do this." A thrill of anticipation ran through her at the decision.

"Okay then…when, where, how?"

"Sookie, give me a second here to wrap my mind around this." She thought for a few moments, "I know! The anniversary of the test run is a week from Sunday."

Sookie shot her a confused look, but then remembered. "Your first kiss."

Lorelai nodded and continued, "I think the honeymoon suite is available. We could have a private dinner."

"Ooh, ooh! I'll have to make something really great. Maybe those veal medallions with-"

"No red meat, Sookie. Remember, this is Luke."

"Oh right. How about salmon? Grilled salmon and-"

"Uh, how long have you known me? Since when do I eat fish?"

"Then you're going to have to give me some time to come up with the perfect proposal menu."

"I have total faith in you. Just make sure the vegetables are on the side."

"Dessert?"

"Why you even need to ask that question is beyond me, but make it something with fruit. Maybe I'll be able to convince Luke to eat it."

"Honeymoon suite, fabulous dinner, champagne-"

"No champagne. Luke hates champagne."

"But it's a proposal."

"He doesn't like it."

"What are you going to toast with, beer?" Lorelai glared at her. "Fine, we'll resolve that detail later. You've got a time, a place, dinner, there'll be music, the only thing left is how?"

"How?"

"How are you going to ask? Get down your knee? Put a secret note in his meal? Spell it out with frosting? Write it on yourself with edible body paint?"

"Sookie!"

"I just wanted to give you some options," Sookie giggled.

"I'm going to need to give that a little more thought…by myself," Lorelai added firmly.

* * *

The credits of the second movie had just scrolled by during the post-Yale-finals movie marathon. In the pause before Rory changed the movie, Lorelai asked, "Hey, what would you think about Luke and I becoming more permanent?" Though she attempted to sound casual, she was betrayed by her nervous twisting of a Red Vine. 

"What? Mom! You would tell me if Luke proposed…right?"

"Wait, what makes you think that he would propose?"

"When we were planning your party, we talked."

"What did he say?"

"He just asked what I thought about you guys being together and said that he was planning to be around for a while." Rory paused for a moment and took a breath, "then I asked if he planned to make it official."

"You asked him that? Why did you ask him that?" Lorelai said in a panicked voice.

Rory gave an innocent shrug, "I guess I just wanted to freak out your boyfriend. Do you think it worked?" she added with an evil grin.

"Rory! Just tell me what he said!"

"Wow, no need to be hostile," she said defensively, then her voice grew softer. "He said 'yeah, at some point.'"

"At some point, hmmm."

"Mom, what's going on?"

"I think…Would it be totally crazy if I asked Luke to marry me?" She bit her lower lip as she watched her daughter.

"Are you serious?" Rory looked stunned.

"Yeah. Do you think it would be weird? I mean there's this part of me that really wants him to ask me, but then I wonder if that's the influence of being raised in Emily World."

"If you want him to ask you, then let him ask you."

Lorelai sighed softly, "At some point."

"Yeah."

"I don't want to wait for 'at some point.'"

"Oh, you're impatient," Rory said with a smirk.

"Yes, hence the question. Is it totally crazy for me to ask him?"

"No."

"Would you be okay with that?"

"With you and Luke getting married?"

"Yeah," Lorelai's voice was tentative.

"Of course! You guys are so great together. He makes you happy. So…what's your plan? Tell me the details!"

"Sookie and I have it partly worked out."

"You told Sookie?" She looked hurt.

"She's the one who suggested proposing."

"Have you figured out how you are going to ask him?"

"No, I'm still working on that part. It's so hard. Gah! There is a reason the guys are supposed to do this."

"You really want this?"

"Yeah I do," Lorelai replied with a small smile.

"Why now? What happened to make you so impatient?"

"I don't know if it was anything in particular. I just…ever since we got back together - I just know that he's it and I realized I don't want to wait."

"Oh my god Mom, that's so 'When Harry Met Sally' of you."

"Huh?"

"You know when Billy Crystal says, 'When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.'"

"That about sums it up. Does that make me Billy Crystal?"

"I guess so, but you're a lot cuter."

"That's not saying much."

"I guess that makes Luke Meg Ryan."

"But he's way hotter," Lorelai grinned.

"Hey, that's my future step-dad you're talking about."

"I know, and you're okay with that? I mean, eventually he'll move into our house and use our bathroom. It won't just be us anymore."

"Really mom, it's great. I love Luke and I love him with you. Now tell me more about your romantic proposal plans."

* * *

On the morning of the anniversary, Lorelai woke in Luke's apartment to the smell of coffee. Apparently, he had found the time this morning to sneak up and leave it for her. _There's a reason I want to marry this man_, she thought. That made her think of her plans for the evening and she mentally ran through the list of details. She had worried for quite a while about the 'how,' but an idea had come to her yesterday. It needed some polish, but she would figure it out by tonight. In the meantime, there was coffee waiting. 

She threw the covers off and padded across the room to the table, hugging her arms around the soft flannel shirt that she wore. In her sleepy and preoccupied state, it wasn't until she picked up the coffee mug and sat down that she saw the card propped open on the table. The front of the card was a photo of a single red rose and the inside was blank except for Luke's words.

_A year ago you changed my life._

_Happy Anniversary._

_Love, Luke_

As she read the card she felt a lump in her throat, touched that he remembered the anniversary of their first kiss and amazed at the way that he could say so much in just a few words. Picking up the card, she ran her finger over the words, trying to memorize the way that they looked written in his script. It was then that she noticed the red rose in the vase behind the card and put down the card to reach for it. She stopped mid-reach, stunned by the small velvet box sitting next to the vase, and tried to imagine any other reason for it besides the obvious. With a trembling hand she picked it up and opened it, tears forming as she looked at the ring inside. It had a single diamond in the center with sapphires on either side, held by an intricate band of white and yellow gold. The box and the ring were clearly not new, and the realization that this might be his mother's ring pushed her tears over the edge.

After a few moments, she was pulled back to reality when she felt Luke's hands on her shoulders. She hadn't noticed that he was in the room, but somehow it didn't startle her that he was. His voice was soft and unsteady when he spoke, "So, what do you think? Will you marry me?"

Though she had known what the ring meant, the words still took her by surprise. She turned to look up at him, nodding as she tried to make the words come. "I…Luke…yes…Oh my god, yes."

He reached and wiped away her tears with his thumbs. "What are these for?"

"I'm just happy…really, really happy."

"Good. I love you."

"I love you too. Will you put it on?" she asked, handing him the box. He pulled the ring out of the box, looking at it a moment before sliding it on her left hand. "It's beautiful." She saw him swallow and asked, "Luke, is it…was it…"

He nodded and she could see that his eyes were brimming with tears. "My Dad gave it to me before he died. He said to give it to the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with."

Before she even had a chance to form the question in her mind, he looked at her and continued, "It's been in a safe-deposit box since he gave it to me. I didn't even think about getting it out until we got back together."

"So, not for…?" She needed confirmation.

"No, not at all…until now."

"It means the world that you're giving it to me."

"It could never be for anyone else."

Lorelai stood and wrapped her arms tightly around him, saying, "You're the best." She gave Luke time to surreptitiously wipe the tears from his eyes before releasing him just enough to look him in the eye. "God, I love you," she whispered before pulling him down for a long kiss. She pulled away reluctantly to catch her breath, leaning her head on his chest.

"Hey Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"How did you get from 'at some point' to this in just a few weeks?"

He pulled back and looked at her curiously, then he nodded, "You talked to Rory."

"Yeah."

He took a deep breath and spoke softly but surely, "I love you and that's not going to change. You're the one I want to be with. When Rory brought it up, I started to think that maybe you felt the same way. I didn't think she would've asked the question if she didn't think you wanted me to ask," he glanced at her nervously, "right?"

"I hadn't talked to her about it, but she wasn't wrong."

"When you were so nervous at your birthday dinner, I didn't get it right away, but later I realized I probably missed a perfect opportunity. That was the reason, wasn't it?" She looked at him, not wanting to admit it, but then nodded slowly. "Were you disappointed?"

"At first, maybe a little, but this is big for both of us. I don't want it to have to share my birthday."

"I think the reason I hesitated was that I was worried you were freaking out after we had that talk about kids. You seemed so…I don't know…restless?"

He glanced at her and she shook her head, "No…It was impatience."

"Oh…"

"Yeah." She looked at him thoughtfully, then went to her purse and pulled out an envelope. She studied it, twisting it around in her fingers, took a deep breath and handed it to him. "It's not the final draft, but you'll get the general idea."

He looked at her curiously while opening it. His eyes widened as he read the note inside. She tried to remember the wording of the most recent version.

_**Scorpio:** _

_Your very nervous girlfriend wants you to marry her. Please say yes._

"Lorelai…what's this?"

"I was going to …tonight. I thought today would be a fitting occasion. I reserved us a room at the inn. Sookie planned a dinner."

"I ruined your plan." He looked crushed and her heart melted.

"No, this is perfect Luke, really. I think there's enough old school Hartford in me that I really wanted you to propose." She looked at him sharply, "Don't you ever tell my mother that." He chuckled at that, as if trying to imagine why he would be having that conversation. "But seriously Luke, this," she said, holding up the card, "is beautiful. This proposal, it's all I ever wanted."

"Then why…this?" he asked softly, holding up her note.

"I want to start our middle…now."

"And you thought I didn't?"

"I just wasn't sure what 'at some point' meant."

"You didn't want to wait eight years."

She gave him a small smile, "I didn't want to wait at all…and I'm really glad you didn't either. And," she continued brightly, "we have a celebratory dinner all ready for us tonight at the inn."

"That sounds perfect," he said, "but I can't believe I'm going to miss out on the opportunity to hear you propose to me."

"I can still ask. It will be easier knowing your answer."

He looked at her thoughtfully. "Were you really that nervous? Did you really think that I wouldn't…?"

"I knew you wanted to be with me. I just didn't know if you were ready for this."

He took her hands in his and looked her in the eye. " I am." Lorelai felt her heart jump as he leaned in for a lingering kiss. When he pulled back, he said, "Speaking of celebratory meals, would you like some breakfast?" He looked up shyly. "Caesar and Lane are covering the diner so I could have breakfast with you."

"Oh! What time is it?"

"Uh…9:00. Why?"

"I was supposed to meet Rory for breakfast in a half hour. We were planning to hang out today."

"Why don't you ask her to join us? You need to tell her anyway. She should be the first to know." He thought for a moment. "Hey, did she know about tonight?"

Lorelai nodded. "I told her when we had her post-finals movie marathon last week."

"You've been planning this since then?"

"Actually, since a couple days after my birthday," she admitted. "What about you?"

"About the same."

"It's hard to believe that we've both been independently planning proposals for almost two weeks. It's kind of eerie."

"Hmmm, eerie. Just what I was going for," he teased. "So, what about Rory?"

"I'll call her and tell her to come straight here. I need to call Sookie too – just to let her know that the proposal part of the proposal dinner is off." She grinned, then looked grim. "I guess we'll have to tell my parents, too."

"Yes, we definitely need to tell your parents," he said firmly but without enthusiasm.

* * *

Lorelai jumped up when she heard the tentative knock on Luke's door. She yanked open the door and pulled Rory inside. "Did you see Luke downstairs on your way in?" 

"No, he was in the back cooking." Rory looked at her, her forehead wrinkled in confusion, "Mom…what's going on?"

"This!" Lorelai answered, holding up her left hand and bouncing up and down on her feet.

"Oh my god, Mom! Did Luke…?" Lorelai could only nod her head furiously. "When?"

"This morning. I woke up and there was coffee, a card, a rose, and this!"

"Wow, so he beat you to it? Are you happy?" Rory paused for a moment to look at her mother. "What am I talking about? Look at you!"

Lorelai beamed as she pulled Rory into her arms.

A few minutes later, Luke entered, carrying dishes of food, which Lorelai took eagerly and placed on the table. "Look, here he is – my fiancé. Oh! My fiancé. Rory, he's my fiancé!"

Rory looked over at Luke with an amused expression, "Yeah, we've met."

"Hey Rory." He paused and worked his jaw for a moment before saying, "Are you…uh…okay with this?"

"Are you kidding? I love you and," she gestured at her mother, "you make her _so_ happy."

Luke swallowed and looked down briefly. When he looked up, he was blushing and stammering, "Uh. Well. You know..."

"I know," Rory said as she threw her arms around his waist. "Welcome to the family." Luke hugged her back awkwardly as she said, "Not a bad start, but we have to work on this hugging thing."

Lorelai watched Rory and Luke together, thinking how long she had wanted to give Rory a complete family. It saddened her to think that it hadn't happened until Rory had left home, but she hoped that the bond that she and Luke already shared would help make up for lost time.

"Hey Luke, what was that you said about breakfast?" Lorelai asked, calling attention to the table full of food.

"You'd think that I never feed her," Luke joked to Rory, as they set the table and sat down to eat.

Throughout the meal, Luke watched as Lorelai and Rory excitedly predicted the town's reaction to the engagement. At one point, Lorelai looked at him and asked, "When are we going to tell Liz?"

He shrugged. "Probably later today."

"Oh my god!" she said with sudden horror. "I just realized that I'm going to be related to T.J."

"That's not going to make you reconsider…is it?" He only partially sounded like he was joking.

"God no. If you have to put up with my family, I can live with T.J."

"I think your parents are going to see it as more of a hardship on their end."

Lorelai looked at him sadly. "I just wish they realized how wonderful you are."

"Hold onto that thought."

"Huh? Why?"

"Uh," He glanced nervously at Rory, then back at Lorelai. "I have something to tell you."

Rory picked up on his serious tone and said, "I'm going to go downstairs to talk to Lane. Don't worry. I won't tell her yet." She excused herself quickly.

"So what's going on?" Lorelai pressured Luke.

"I called your parents."

"You did what? Why?" Her face paled.

"To see if they would be around. I told your mother that we would come by in a little while."

"What?" Lorelai's voice was tight with anger. She stood and paced with her hands on her hips. "How could you?"

"You said we needed to tell them."

"I didn't ask you to make an appointment. Why did you do this without asking me?"

"Because I knew you would want to put it off, but we need to tell them."

"So this is how it's going to be now? If you think I'm not going to agree with you about something, you'll just go ahead and do it and tell me later that it was for the best? What kind of partnership is that?

His face filled with remorse, "Lorelai, I didn't mean to do that. I just really want to start off right with your parents. As nervous as I am about telling them, nothing is served by waiting."

"You're really worried about it."

"I'm not who they want for you, and I don't want that to come in between you and your parents."

"Luke, it's already between us and it's about more than you. They just don't want me to live my life the way I want. They still want the Barbie dream daughter." She threw up her hands in frustration. "I just don't want to ruin this perfect day by having to hear yet again how disappointed they are in me."

"This is exactly why I didn't tell you – you're stubborn and too damn persuasive, but Lorelai, everything you just said would be made worse by waiting to tell them. Can't we just go and tell them so that we don't have to worry about it anymore?" he pleaded.

"It'll really bother you to wait?" He nodded. "Okay, then let's get it over with."

"Yeah?"

She glanced up at him and smiled. "I don't want to fight anymore – not today."

"I'm sorry I didn't talk to you."

"Just don't go getting all cocky now that I said I'd marry you. I think I understand why you did it, but this can't be the way things work between us. You can't go off and do stuff like this without talking to me. Besides, you shouldn't assume that I'm always going to disagree with you."

"That's been a pretty safe assumption up to now," he grinned as she slapped him playfully on the shoulder.

"Do you think it's a bad sign that we just got engaged less than an hour ago and we already had a fight?"

"That wasn't a fight. It was more of a disagreement, and if we didn't have those, I'd be seriously concerned. It wouldn't feel right if we agreed all the time."

Lorelai giggled at the thought, but it rang true nonetheless. She didn't want either one of them to give up what was important to them for the sake of pretended harmony. "I guess if we 'disagree,' at least we get to make-up afterwards," she grinned up at him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Speaking of which…" she mumbled into his lips as she pulled his head down into a kiss and leaned her body close to his. He ran his fingers down her back and pulled her in tightly before kissing along her jawline and down her neck.

She was startled by the sound of a knock and Rory's voice, "Mom, Luke? Can I…"

"Come on in," Luke called as he pulled Lorelai into his chest and kissed her head. He whispered, "We can pick up where we left off later."

"We better."

Rory entered and took in the scene. "So…I guess everything is okay?" she said with an amused smile.

"Yeah, we just had a slight disagreement about the best time to tell Richard and Emily Killjoy about our plans."

"I take it you have resolved your 'disagreement?'"

"You could say that. Apparently, we're going to go tell them now."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You want to come along to exert your golden child influence over the situation?"

"Actually I would. I'd like to see Grandma's reaction."

"Here's hoping that we don't provide you with too much drama," Lorelai said, worry creeping into her voice. As if sensing her concern, Luke gave her hand an encouraging squeeze.

"They'll appreciate knowing right away, Mom. Besides, all they have to do is look at you to see how happy you are."

"So you think that I look happy?"

Still holding her hand, Luke stepped back and surveyed her face. "You are kinda glowing."

"And you want to take credit for that?" she teased.

"I'd like to think I had something to do with it."

"My, we _are_ getting cocky, aren't we?"

* * *

Emily pondered the phone call, almost dreading the impending visit. There could only be two reasons for a sudden visit by Luke and Lorelai and much as she hoped it was not another out-of-wedlock pregnancy, she was not sure she would be any happier about an engagement. She had hoped for so much more for Lorelai than this small town diner owner could offer. The musical tones of the doorbell pulled her out of her thoughts. As she hurried to answer the door, she called, "Richard, they're here." 

She was surprised to see Rory with them, and though all three looked happy, there was tension in Luke's face and he held Lorelai's hand tightly. "Good morning. It's nice to see you. What brings you here?" she asked politely.

"Uh…good morning Mom, Dad. Can we go sit down? We have something to tell you."

They moved into the living room to sit down and Emily studied her daughter, looking for signs that would reveal the announcement she was preparing.

Lorelai took a deep breath, looked at Luke then grinned at Rory and said, "Luke asked me to marry him and I said yes. We're going to get married."

Emily had thought about what it would sound like if Lorelai ever said those words. She expected it to come as a bit of a challenge, like so many of her past rebellions had been. There would be an 'I told you so' tone. She was surprised to see only sheer happiness. Lorelai's eyes were bright and she couldn't contain her wide smile. Only her expectant look, as she waited for a reaction, betrayed her inner nervousness.

"Congratulations…Luke" Emily said stiffly, though with a smile, "and best wishes to you, Lorelai. Richard, this calls for champagne. Can you get some?"

"Of course, I believe we have some in the next room."

Looking back at her daughter, Emily asked, "So, when did this happen?"

Lorelai glanced at Luke, "About two hours ago. Luke left me an anniversary card and the ring with my morning coffee." Her smile as she looked at Luke was radiant.

"Really? Two hours ago?"

"Luke insisted that we tell you immediately," she glared sharply at him before continuing, "but we did take the time to eat breakfast first."

"Thank you Luke, for that consideration. I can't imagine when we would have known if it had been left to Lorelai."

Lorelai narrowed her eyes at that, but before she had a chance to object Luke defended her, "It was Lorelai's idea to tell you. I just called you before she had a chance." His words softened Lorelai's expression and he squeezed her hand affectionately.

Emily watched the interchange with interest and noticed a sense of partnership that she had never seen in any of Lorelai's relationships. She was allowing Luke to make small demands and exert control in a way that she had never allowed anyone else to do, and Emily was quite sure that Luke was allowing the same. It was a balance that she and Lorelai had never managed to find, and it was more than a little painful that she had found it with someone else.

As Richard handed them their champagne, Emily noticed the engagement ring and said, "That's a beautiful ring. May I see it?"

Lorelai held out her hand to display the ring, she and Luke sharing a smile as she did so. "It belonged to Luke's mother." Emily eyed them curiously, wondering how it was that Lorelai had ended up with his mother's ring if Luke had been previously married.

"It really is lovely," she said genuinely.

"It going to look beautiful with the necklace and earrings you gave Lorelai for her birthday," Luke said softly.

"You're right," she said, giving him an approving look. "So…have you picked a date?"

"Mom, it's only been a couple of hours. Give us a chance to get used to being engaged before you start planning the wedding."

"Are you actually going to go through with it this time?"

The shock and hurt on her daughter's face made her regret the words as soon as they were out of her mouth. "Wow, that was harsh. Doesn't anyone have any faith in me?" She glanced at Luke and then back at her mother. "I am definitely, without question, going to marry Luke, understood?"

"Understood, "Emily responded softly, taken aback at the forcefulness in Lorelai's words. She started to apologize, before realizing that Lorelai was no longer looking at her, but at Luke. He gave a small nod, as if he understood the question had been meant more for him than her mother.

Watching Lorelai, Emily realized that her emotions were totally exposed, not because she was intentionally sharing them, but because it wasn't possible for her to contain her happiness. For these few rare moments, Lorelai's life was an open book. Though at first glance, Emily wasn't sure the story that was unfolding appealed to her, she realized that like some great works of literature, it might take a little work and patience in order to fully appreciate it.

* * *

Lorelai allowed herself some small measure of relief that her parents were being polite, though it was clear they were not completely comfortable. Emily seemed interested in their plans, though there wasn't yet much to tell her. She was, however, avoiding eye contact with Luke. Lorelai recalled a phone conversation with her mother and thought about whether or not she would ever be able to accept Luke, or if this quiet tolerance was the most they could hope for. At least it was a start. 

While Rory and Emily chatted excitedly about something wedding related, Lorelai glanced over at her father. He had gotten up from his seat to get some more champagne, but was still standing in the corner of the room, as if observing the scene. Lorelai brushed her hand down Luke's arm and whispered, "Be right back," and then walked over to her father.

"Hey Dad, you've been kind of quiet."

"It's not every day your only daughter gets engaged."

"Oh." She tried to find the words to ask him what he was thinking.

"Lorelai?" She was startled out of her internal debate.

"Yeah, Dad?"

"You've always been your own person. Everything you did, you did yourself, in your own way. Much to everyone's dismay, sometimes, but it has served you well."

"Dad?"

"Does Luke know that?"

"Better than anyone…and he still wants me."

"I see."

"You don't approve."

"Does it matter whether I approve?"

"It matters to me because it matters to Luke. I don't want him to feel unwelcome for the rest of his life…" She paused and softened her words, trying not to make it sound like an accusation, "like Mom did for so long."

He narrowed his eyes and looked at her for a moment before sighing, "I suppose you are right."

Lorelai hesitated in the hope that her father would be more forthcoming. When he wasn't she began, "You know…I really am happy."

"Yes, you seem to be," he admitted. He then paused, as if measuring his words, "I'm pleased that you're happy."

Recognizing that this was quite a statement coming from her father, she leaned in and put her hand on his shoulder, saying softly into his ear, "Thank you." She then pulled back and asked, "Do you think Mom will ever feel that way?"

He gave her a puzzled look. "Of course. Your mother wants you to be happy."

"She has a funny way of showing it."

"Lorelai…" She recognized that tone. It was the tone he used to show that he wasn't amused by one of her jokes.

"No Dad, listen," she said firmly. "I was happy – and she knew it, but she tried to take that away. No one has ever hurt me like that before. Ever." Her voice wavered as she remembered the betrayal she had felt. "I don't think she understands that." She looked down briefly before meeting his eyes and was surprised to see concern in his expression.

"I believe she does now. As do I." He glanced at Emily and then added, "She will appreciate that you came to tell us when you did."

"Luke didn't want to put off telling you. Family is very important to him."

"He seems like an honorable man."

Lorelai glanced at Luke, then looked back at her father. "Yes, he is," she replied, pleased at the acknowledgment.

"Yes. Well…I should see if anyone needs more champagne," he said as he tipped the bottle toward Emily, Luke and Rory.

As he filled the glasses, Emily asked, "Would you like to stay for lunch? I'm sure that Clara could heat us up some soup and make sandwiches, though anything beyond that would stretch her meager talents."

"As inviting as that sounds, we don't want to put you out and we did just eat breakfast not too long ago."

"We do have another stop or two to make on our way home – a few more people that we need to talk to." Luke added.

"Certainly. You do need to share your news. Well, next time then. Lorelai, might we see you on Friday?"

Rory gave her an encouraging look and Lorelai relented, "That sounds nice."

"Good, that will give us some time to start planning. Hopefully you will have a date chosen by then."

"Uh, Mom?" she tried to interject, to no avail.

"Luke, what about you? Will you be joining us on Friday?"

"Mom, he's got-"

She stopped when Luke squeezed her hand and responded, "I'll check to see if I can make it. Can I get back to you?"

"Certainly."

As they said their final goodbyes, Emily looked Lorelai in the eye and said, "Thank you for coming to tell us." Lorelai was touched to see genuine appreciation in her mother's expression. "And do think about that wedding date. We have a lot of work ahead of us."

"We?" sputtered Lorelai.

* * *

"So Mom, did you really agree to let Grandma help plan your wedding?" 

"No, I didn't, did I?"

"Well, in the face of an outright protest, Grandma would probably take it as agreement."

"Luke, did it sound like I agreed?"

"You didn't disagree," he pointed out. "Why? Is that bad?"

"You saw the vow renewal. She only had one week to plan that. She once told me she had planned out a Romanov theme for my wedding, something about a silver sleigh with white horses, lights in the trees…"

"Rory, please make her stop."

"You asked her to marry you."

"That I did," he said, smiling happily as they headed for Stars Hollow.

After a ride filled with chatter about the wedding, Luke agreed that Liz should be the next to hear the news. Rory asked to be dropped at home, saying, "as intrigued as I am by Luke's sister and this mysterious T.J., I think maybe another time would be more appropriate for me to meet them."

As they pulled away from the house, Luke looked at Lorelai and asked softly, "Hey, do you mind if we make an extra stop before going to see Liz?"

"No, where do you want to go?"

He looked down shyly then back up at her, "I'd like to tell my parents our news."

_Fin_

**

* * *

Author's Note:** Thanks for reading. I'd love to know what you think. I need to credit JeSouhaite for planting the idea of Lorelai proposing and for the _When Harry Met Sally_ reference. The idea for using a horoscope in Lorelai's proposal came from a discussion in the Luke and Lorelai thread of the GG forum at TWoP. Lastly, there cannot be enough said about the positive energy in the fan fiction thread of the TWoP GG forum. Thanks for the encouragement!


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